Funny life, India, Love, Marriage, Me, Such is life, Thoughts and musings, Whines and whispers

How marriage made me a better person

“Love me for a reason and let the reason be love” went the famous Boyzone song and left a deep impression on the starry-eyed, romantic teenager in me. How could it not? Gorgeous British boys with their spotless skin and sexy accent could never be wrong about love, after all. Like many girls of my time, I harboured the secret wish to find and marry such a delightfully cute Prince Charming and make a song of our own. But happily ever afters symbolise a happy marriage, right? How many of us are up for the roller coaster ride this much-hyped institution offers? Is there a foolproof way of acing it?

Marriage is one of the best reality checks in the world. We might be convinced of our sincere maturity, top-notch cooking, good housekeeping, or well-researched parenting skills but it manages to shake us off our pedestal and tosses us on the ground, head-on. Trust me, as an almost 16-year-old wife I’ve seen, done, and experienced more for my husband than I ever thought I would, for anyone. That’s what marriage does to you. It creates a new you while giving you a reason to love and be loved, often more than one.

How marriage made me a better person_avibrantpalette

Our marriage turns the sweet sixteen next week which keeps us in serious reminiscing mode nowadays. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been this long!”, “Remember how we were before?”, “Our kids are God’s blessings.” and similar thoughts fill up our bedtime conversations. Our lives have transformed beautifully in each other’s company. However, feelings about how much we’ve influenced and changed each other never seem to spill out openly. What better place than my blog to confess a few such adorable things, right?

A’s presence in my life is like a drop of water in a parched desert. He’s the water to my fire, Yin to my Yang, and well, sanity to my impulsiveness. I’ve often witnessed in awe the calmness with which he handles extremely dicey situations. Where I will scream incoherently or nervously hop around like a rabbit high on Red Bull, he’ll shrug and not react at all. He has a clear demarcation for who stands where in his life and seldom confuses personal relations with professional ones. Honestly and thankfully, over time I believe I’ve absorbed some of these qualities. Is tricking a tomboy into wilful submission a superpower he possesses? I wonder.

Our marriage has survived the common teething problems that every other one goes through. Taming a reckless lifestyle, compromising on carefree freedom and general domesticating issues earlier seemed like a huge mountain to scale. However, A’s disarmingly adjusting demeanour inspired me to genuinely try for it. There hasn’t been a complete turnaround in my personality, I agree. The poking edges have been smoothened out though. Once a spoilt brat even for my closest friends, I’m now a responsible mother and daughter-in-law for everyone (or so they say). It would be rather unfair to not share this credit with him.

He’s emotional but not an emotional fool like me. Where I see, he observes. While I’m oblivious to prying eyes he quietly enjoys the attention. He understands my mood swings and knows when to hold back his Smart Alec comments. He respects my family and friends and happily chills out with them. He’s also the most doting father. Sometimes his objectivity takes away from the sensitive side of things but one of us needs to have a clear head, right? It is said that opposites attract and can make a marriage work. It applies perfectly in our case.

While I’m singing eons of his virtues let me highlight his punishing habits too. He takes procrastination and laziness for a ride and manages to drag their entire sloth family home with him. His taste in music is eclipsed by his insistence to annoyingly croak my favourite songs, and God knows he has one for every occasion. His motto, “Bad movies must be watched to know what went wrong” has made me suffer through Saawariya, Radhe, Satyamev Jayate 2, etc while he secretly napped out of boredom. His obsession with web series keeps him up till 2-3 am at times leaving me no choice but to deal with a cranky humanoid the next day. He says I’m a boring nut to go running early in the morning when I can cuddle instead. On such days I’m inclined to question my marriage, life choices, and basic existence. Sigh! 🙁

All said and done, we’ve invested so much effort in each other that we wouldn’t trade this for anything else. Not in saat janams, not ever. Our eccentricities aside, alone we are alright but together we’re great! Sounds like a marriage, yes? Dedicating the line “Mere jaise laakhon mile honge tujhko piya, mujhe to mila tu hi” to him and myself. (No one else would take us anyway! 😀 )

© This site A Vibrant Palette is the property of Varsha Bagadia. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Varsha Bagadia and A Vibrant Palette with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

13 thoughts on “How marriage made me a better person

  1. “It doesn’t feel like it’s been this long!”.. I can very well relate to this Varsha.. So happy to see the pics as well your smiling eyes..
    Hope you are doing great dear..

  2. How beautifully you have written the piece Varsha. I enjoyed reading this beautifully worded piece of your marriage and it’s great to know about you two. May you two continue to shine this way, together defining your own love story. 💐💐💐💐💐💐💐

  3. Beautifully written post Varsha. Loved his motto – His motto, “Bad movies must be watched to know what went wrong”. He seems to be a very balanced person. Having a person as your soulmate who compliments you is a blessing. Stay blessed and happy always!!

  4. You just laid your heart bear my dear. Your post is a very candid statement of your true feelings. Marriage is totally give and take. You dont change for the person but you blend yourself to look like a cohesive whole.My husband and I were totally mismatched. But both of us made an effort and we ended up as the perfect couple but shortlived.

  5. First of all 2 things I like to mention “Big congratulations on 16th glorious years” and second we need party. I feel you both compliment each other so much which makes you both a perfect couple. Stay blessed.

  6. I think marriage is serious work and both parties need to put in the effort. Very few marriages are made in heaven, years of being together can smoothen the edges or improve our tolerance for stuff we could not take earlier. Stay blessed and I hope he can find the motivation to get out of bed in the morning to exercise and give you company.

  7. Loved reading it. Indeed marriage is an institution in itself and we all learn something new everyday while supporting each other . Wishing you both a belated happy marriage anniversary.

  8. Firstly, I want to congratulate you for spending successful 16 years together. I can see love in both of your eyes in the pictures. A marriage can be successful if both the partners support each other in every moment. Lovely read I must say.

  9. Varsha, your personal post on marriage made it more relatable. As you said you are Ying to his Yang and that’s how marriages work . The balance in marriage is vital and if it does not affect your personal space, then it is a bliss. Congratulations on 16th anniversary, wishing you many more who knows by the time on 30th anniversary you are watching bad movies and he is jogging :))

  10. Aww.. God bless you both and congratulations, wish you both many more years of togetherness with lots of love and blessings. Opposite attracts , it happened with you and me too😉

  11. I can totally relate with you. Marriage is an institution that is losing its charm of late but I must say that it has changed me for a good reason. Every relationship has its pros and cons. It is how we deal with it that matters.

Liked what you read? Tell me. Thanks!