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Claiming myself back: Why was tipping the scale necessary? #MyFriendAlexa

September 2, 2018

My wittiest humour fell short of words trying to find an apt sneer for what lay in front of my eyes. The real me, hidden under umpteen dreadful folds of skin, pleaded to be released from the lumpy cage. The scale, while encountering appalling disappointment and few unshed tears, was spared from facing the brunt. Sure this wasn’t alarming but was waiting till then a wise step?

Blame it on my Marwari genes or Mom’s awesome cooking, my battle with weight started in my adolescent years itself. I was an awkward teenager who was never picked for sports or school dances. When classmates viciously guffawed at my baggy clothing I retaliated by stuffing my face with more potato chips and stepping into isolation. I should’ve known and done better then. Sigh!

Now years, marriage and two kids later I was face-to-face with the same girl. The chubby cheeks and wide frame conveniently masqueraded the solid efforts I had taken to not be the same fat girl again. I disliked and disapproved of everything I saw. Foolishly, I looked around for a sign, some divine Akashwani type intervention or some earth-shattering occurence to get the big bulk of me moving. It obviously didn’t happen.

Do we need to look around for motivation?

Why should someone push us for what’s good for us?

Aren’t we responsible for our own well-being?

Revelation happens in a moment though; unannounced and quite unexpectedly. Looking at the mirror, “This is too much and I need to do something about it!” was all the motivation I needed. My wardrobe had stacks of beautiful dresses that were hardly worn and I was determined to adorn them soonest. Looking at them fondly, I promised myself a makeover. I owed this to that teenager who sacrificed skirts and jeans and settled for loose-fitting salwar suits in college.

A maintained that he ‘loves me the way I am’ but my self-love needed more convincing than that. I decided to make the scale my friend and work with it as a team. Wouldn’t it be happier to feel less burdened by my awesomeness? 😉

I idolise Monica’s character in Friends and Kajol in real life for conducting themselves the way they do. They’re both gorgeous women whose beauty isn’t just about looking good. I know ‘what’s inside matters the most’ but it doesn’t hurt if the exterior gives a tempting befitting glimpse of it, right?

Stay with me as I take you on a non-preachy and personal journey through the last few months of ‘Claiming myself back’ in this year’s #MyFriendAlexa activity. I’m hoping that jotting it down will prove as a keepsake for me in future and/or serve as a wake-up call to anyone who might need it.

Thanks for reading. Please do share your thoughts with me.

135 thoughts on “Claiming myself back: Why was tipping the scale necessary? #MyFriendAlexa”

  4. We all go through different phases in life and every stage we need to work and do some makeup for our body and mind to fit and fine. It is all in the mind and the moment we are determined rest all becomes mere mechanical activity.

    #MyFriendAlexa, #MakeupReads

    1. That’s so true, Nihar. The mind needs to be conditioned and made up before anything else. A little bit of effort for a healthy body and life is a small price to pay in the long run.
      Thanks for reading.

  6. Never underestimate the power of the self motivated, spirited girl on her way to reclaim back! And knowing you, I can safely say that the posts ahead would give us the most no preachy but most practical ways to beat the flab at its own game and emerge winner.
    Look forward to your post chronicling the journey of claiming back self.

    1. Wow, I feel like lady Shahrukh right now! 😀
      Thank you so much, Anagha. You know me well. I’m sharing my personal journey here and any takeaways are for the reader to find out and follow.

  7. That was a great post and I believe in the fact that it’s the inside that matters the most, but then.. you must take care of your body as well.. it’s the only one we’ve got!❤️

  18. I was a lean, muscular youth when I was in college. But a sedentary lifestyle and a desk job has added oodles of fat to my body and now I closely resemble a sack of potatoes :). I need to take a leaf out of your book and reclaim myself. I keep planning it as a new year resolution every time but fail to keep up the momentum after a few days. Look forward to reading further posts. #MyFriendAlexa #JaiSReads

    1. The new year resolution high fades within a day, Jai. If you want to do it, just pick a random day which wouldn’t ask a lot from you. I don’t even remember the day of my big revelation but it indeed pushed me enough to reach here.
      All the best for reclaiming yourself. Deep down you aren’t a potato. Just remember that. 🙂

  23. It is good that you have come to this decision on your own. So the effort will be sincere. Because you will be your own judge. True, what is inside that counts. But if I do not like the outer cover, I may not venture into exploring what is inside. From an individuals point of view, self esteem is very important. For lesser mortals, looks give a sense of self esteem. Finally, looking good if that involves shedding a few grams, it is good of long term health as it stops disease. Good luck and god bless.

  24. All of us have experienced these feelings more often than not in our lives. Yet it feels pleasurable to read your journey of self motivation to stay healthy and fit. Keep up the hard work. I am sure your posts are not at all preachy in any way and wont be in future too.

  27. It’s great to be healthy – no doubt about that. But mental health is also important and there’s no need to find our bodies disgusting if they are not perfect. All the best for your journey

  28. Its easier said than done and I am sure a lot of hard work went into it. You look great and kudos to you for an inspirational journey. Cant wait to read next part.

  29. I join in this journey with you and it’s not because of the physical appearance but more about feeling good. The numerous travels have led to a weight gain and I’m sure your upcoming posts will propel me to shed them in the right manner. I’m following you. Great post!

    1. I love your travel and food pics, Dipali. I’m a vegetarian and many of them don’t appeal to me personally but I do like the tidbits you share about every place you visit. I agree weight loss is more about fitness than looking good. Motivating a woman with the latter is bit easier though. I hope I can be of some help to you.
      Thank you so much for reading. 🙂

  32. Appearances don’t matter. But if it makes you happy and confident, I don’t see any harm in trying to improve upon them.
    Ultimately, it all boils down to how you (want to) perceive yourself!

    Cheers to your journey of self-transformation…

    1. Appearances are subjective, for some it is just about looking good and for some it is a sign of being careless and unkempt. As you rightly said, perceptions matter. For me, it was a bit of both.
      Thanks, Priyanka.

  35. Absolutely great post! I believe it’s not about the appearance as so many people believe it to be. Being in shape is more about being healthy and a healthy body is definitely what everyone should aim for.

  37. Sometimes all it takes is one lightbulb moment. For me it was when I was playing with my 2 year old and was out of breath in 10 mins while he could still go on and on. I started on my fitness journey 4 months ago and I am looking forward to reading about yours too.

  39. I have always been on the heavier end of the scale. But I never felt unfit nor did I ever feel the need to be bothered about how I look. It is only recently that I realized that my energy levels are getting lower. I’m unable to keep up with my toddler. Probably it is time that I take a decision too. Looking forward to reading your journey.

    1. Same here, Sonia. Although my kids keep me on my toes there was a part of me that felt exhausted and drained all the time. Working out is also the me-time that I was sorely missing. After losing weight and stressing on eating healthy I feel energetic and fresh. That indeed is a bigger perk than looking good.
      Don’t think too much and get started for your own sake. It is worth it! Thanks for reading.

  42. Beauty is not about the way you look. It is about how you feel and reflect back. Self-motivation is a must to get ourselves back on the track. And we should do what makes us happy.
    Good luck with the journey of ‘Claiming yourself back’ Varsha. I’m going to stay with you.

  44. Love Love Love 🙂 Weight is just a number, real beauty comes from within and this makes every individual special. I’m gonna enjoy reading your journey as I have seen the transformation in the pictures.

    #vigorousreads #MyFriendAlexa

  45. Quite eager to read the journey you will be taking us along with. Marwari genes, oh! I’m too full of those Marwari genes and can understand the reason of that good fat in us;)

  46. I totally agree with you…self image takes a huge beating when one is unfit. I think our biggest enemies are our loved ones who see us as perfect. I am looking forward to reading more about your journey. Keep writing! #MyFriendAlexa #MayuraReads

  48. Great Post Varsha, the reading feels like a mirror, i am a marvari too with mom having good cooking skills and weight is back knocking my door after baby.. phew.. Waiting to read more of your journey here. #Tuggunmommyreads #MyFriendAlexa

  50. I was on the opposite end, painfully thin trying hard to put on weight. Years later I did but it took a lot of soul searching to get to where ma I.

    I realised it’s not about food….

    Hugs for sharing

    #myfriendalexa #indiabeautywrites

  54. I know exactly what you mean. I have been in that “stage” since over a year, and I have been putting in constant effort too. My body isnt very responsive to the methods, but for one i feel a lot more fitter.

  57. Here’s me wishing you lots of luck, Varsha. And I love the way you’ve thought about reclaiming yourself this way. I’ll be following all your posts this month.

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