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Mothers can raise their sons right

Parenting is tricky and a constant struggle not just with our own upbringing and instincts but also with what is taught and followed by the ever-increasing brigade of know-it-all helicopter parents. There is so much of debate nowadays about what we’re supposed to do that what we like doing sadly takes a backseat.

As parents, we know better. Sometimes we have to handle our kids and their demands with a velvet glove and sometimes we need to maintain a steely resolve and ensure they toe the line for their own benefit. Kids are easily swayed by peer pressure and blindly ape their friends for the need to belong. Is it right for us to encourage them?

A Jr had been participating in his class dance for his school’s Annual Day ever since he was in Jr.KG, a ritual he neither enjoyed nor was particularly excited about. As someone who loves dancing it pains me no end to see that the boy has two left feet and a stiff-like-a-stick body. He doesn’t bother completing steps and is concerned more about what the person next to him is doing. I’m truly grateful to him for not reprimanding a guy who accidentally ran into him last year on stage.

Since he’s in Fourth grade now, I put my foot down and instructed him to take part in a skit this year or just sit in the audience with me. I might’ve acted too stubborn but I knew for a fact that he has no stage fright and could actually be heard and seen much unlike in a group dance where I can’t place him amongst 20 other kids until half the song is over. He was convinced this was a good idea only when his teacher happily welcomed him in the team and added him to the Hindi skit as the main character.

An amusing stage debut, my boy was to play a dowry-seeking father-in-law for the Beti bachao theme of the play. From the very first day of practice he seemed upbeat and didn’t cringe or complain when his friends teased him about his ‘buddha’ role. I would be in splits when he’d tell me that ‘his wife has changed’, ‘his daughter-in-law doesn’t say dialogues properly’ or ‘he is a khadoos father-in-law and will not smile’!

The best part was the mature conversations this play sparked between us. A Jr wanted to know the meaning of dowry and why is it a bad thing. Trying to keep it as basic as possible I told him about dowry, the right of daughters on their parents’ property, importance of a girl’s education for her and her family, why boys should insist on not accepting dowry, need for self-defence for everyone, and much more.

A protective big brother to a little kid sister, he patiently took everything in. Only time will tell how much of it is retained but I believe as a mother I did the right thing by educating my son about the things he should and shouldn’t do.

Dressed in a white dhoti and pink khadi kurta with a thick kajal moustache he looked adorably cute! His superb stage presence and confidence in the play reduced me to tears. I’m allowed that, right? Meanwhile, the mothers who had admonished me for ‘not letting my son follow his heart’ accepted that my decision and motivation for my son was right.

People or books might say otherwise but mothers know what’s best for their kids, isn’t it? What do you think?

“This post is written as a part of the #AlexaTheIncredible campaign hosted by #womenbloggerwb”

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  1. A good read it was..:))

    1. Thank you, Shahz. 🙂

      1. Pleasure is all mine Varsh :))

  2. Anagha Yatin says:

    Blessed are your kids to have you as their Mother, Varsh! So proud of you for taking the right steps in bringing the change from the grass root level i.e our own homes.
    More power to you dear…

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words, Anagha dear! I just did what I thought was right and advisable. Kids learn a lot from their parents and that’s why it is our job to make sure they learn well and good.

  3. Very powerful read. How true, gender biased is something which inadvertently come from home. And it’s our duty as Mother’s to give the right lessons.

  4. Varsha, you did a fabulous job! I so wish every mother, as well as father, had that kind of talk apart from the ‘birds and the bees’ talk with their boys and girls. Such knowledge provided in childhood will stay with them, I am sure, and will be put to good use some time in their future lives!

  5. A mother always has a special power which knows whats right for her children. The pic made me laugh, its really cute. You did a fab job Varsha and it will pay off.

  6. rashimital says:

    This is a great post, Varsha and I have lots to say….and ask…. 🙂
    .Why did your boy participate in dancing when he has two left feet in the initial years?

    .Do let me know how did you tell about dowry and other things to your kid. I believe that irrespective of the age kids need to the right thing and hence want to prepare myself for such questions which aren’t very far.

    You are doing a fabulous job of raising a son and a daughter equally. Change begins at home and you are setting an example for so many. 🙂 Being a mom I could imagine myself laughing if my son would have told me about his skit activities… kids are adorable, I agree.

  7. Inculcating the right habits and mannerisms is crucial, bringing up a child right is nothing less than a task

  8. true! mothers know whats best 🙂
    and it is so lovely that you are sensitizing him to the ways, the right ways 🙂

  9. Yes, we know the best for our kids and you dis it right by asking him to participate in skit. Verifications bachao, awesome theme, m sueeskids retain what they are taught in young ages.

  10. You definitely did the right thing by motivating your son. Maybe now he too agrees with your decision of asking him to participate in the skit. It’s important we keep encouraging
    children and that might actually let them find their passion!

  11. jhilmildsaha says:

    What a beautifully written post. You are an inspiring mom

  12. So endearing. Conversations as such are difficult to have with kids, it’s great that the participation in the play helped you both both over different topics.

  13. you are such apowerful mom dear,ur doing good parenting

  14. So much more is needed but it is possible to change the things for better gender equality

  15. You have brought out a very sensitive subject but worth writing for you and reading for us. Its so true mothers have this major responsibility of raising their kids and making them responsible citizen too.

  16. Papri Ganguly says:

    I feel gender bias is very stereotype thoughts. We need to break it tho

  17. Teaching our sons about right and wrong and about the bad practices in the society and why they are bad is very important! You have done a great job

  18. Very powerful and touchy write up dear.. So proud of you..

  19. preety85 says:

    Kids learn so much from skits… Love to see your Lil one performing on stage.

  20. Wow! It is amazing to read how much careful you have been in nurturing your kids 🙂

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