India, Me, Sharing views, Thinking hat, Women

Dear God, can I be a 40-something, fast?

Yes, you read it right. No, I’m not joking or recovering from some recent blow to my head. Being a 40-something woman isn’t uncool or boring anymore. Want to know how? Read on!

I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t seen it for myself, but 40s is the new 20s! While most women feel it is the onset of sunset in their lives, there are quite a few enterprising ones who’ve turned this so-called midlife crisis over its head and created their own sunshine with brilliantly glorious hues that is helping them redefine their personality and living a life that seemed like a distant dream, not too long ago.

This mostly has to do something with the fading of the one thing that keeps any woman from doing what her heart truly wants; guilt. The misplaced guilt of not being able to give her family enough time due to her career aspirations, not being the best wife or mother in the world, not having a picture-perfect home or being the best cook in the world can play havoc with a woman’s self-confidence and age her prematurely. Mind you, most of this is only in her mind.


I don’t mean to imply that by the time a woman is 40-something these problems disappear into thin air. They are very much there, but the way she deals with them or lets them take charge of her life, changes big time! She realises that she cannot expect everything in her life to be done with expert precision. She learns to let go of the very things that made her see red at one time, to some extent. She seeks solace in things that are intimate, personal and meant only for HER.

Seeing her kids open their wings and leave the comfortable nest that she shaped for them with much love and care can be difficult, but this indeed can be the first step in her self-rediscovery. In fact, even the thought of having a teenage A Jr (who will probably wholeheartedly welcome my non-interfering absence in his life) and a grown-up Angel, who won’t need me to be a hands-on Mom for her, after some years, makes me feel light and fresh already!

The time to fret about the opportunities lost has long gone; it is now her turn to find new destinations and carve new ways to get there. She can take a breather from being someone’s someone and just be herself. If anyone needs her, she’s right there to guide and support, but she isn’t idling herself till the time she’s called upon.

The time that she spent for others, or wiling away, can be invested in getting involved in activities and hobbies that she feels closely about. She can take up that creative writing course she’d planned to, splash the canvas with abstracts, hit the gym with a vengeance, join a book club or be a part of an NGO and do volunteer work. Sky is the limit and she can soar higher and higher! 🙂

My 40-something lady readers and even the ones getting there, do you agree?

16 thoughts on “Dear God, can I be a 40-something, fast?

  1. Four more years to touch that phase. Not sure if it’s going to be one happy time, but yes the kids growing up does give you some space for yourself. And the patience that gets added is a bonus. Though I would like to say ‘Amen’ to that prayer for the reason behind it, I would not like to say so to make you age faster. 🙂

    1. It is not like I’m dying to reach that benchmark, but I would like to believe that that time would be more pleasant and less busy than right now. 🙂

  2. My mom already crossed 40’s and entered into her 50’s. Still I have to repeatedly remind her to take a time off and enjoy for a while. I hope she enjoys all that she missed over the years and I hope to make it possible for her 🙂

  3. 40 is the new 20 for sure. And I can say so with great confidence because I am travelling on the path of 4th decade of my life.
    As you say, attitude now is more relaxed and bothering about the world is a gone by, oh not so popular thought for me.
    I live for myself and love that too! That means I love all family members all the more.

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