For a man, an ideal wife is someone who is a mother when she cooks for him and serves him, a sister when he needs emotional and mental support, a friend who he can share his feelings with and have fun with and a girlfriend/lover when he needs her in bed.

This is a crude translation of something I had read somewhere a long time back. It stayed with me all these years owing to the sheer audacity with which it expects a woman to cater to her man’s needs and desires like it was her duty and was the basic criteria for her to be bracketed as the ideal one!

I’m sure there were women who went to great lengths to fit into this ‘ideal’ mould. Living in the reflected glory of their husbands and being walked all over day in and day out was something that was taken for granted, even by women. It would be hardly surprising if men conveniently did the same. Will anyone let go or question when he is in such an enviable position?

I’m not trying to make this a feminist post, but what scares and bothers me is the existence of such women even in today’s society! Being a rebel or breaking boundaries isn’t the only thing that can make a woman earn respect for her. The courage to stand on her own and to make her own choices too is enough to give her the confidence she deserves.

In a family, a woman is the cement that binds relationships together. The undesirable job of handling delicate matters with an iron fist, albeit with a velvet glove, can be ably carried out only by her. When there is so much that she does for everybody, shouldn’t she get some attention and care too?

I wonder if anyone thought of making a list of qualities a man should possess before he sets out for marriage. Like for a girl, shouldn’t he have a checklist too? Can he cook? Is he supporting enough to keep her company in good and bad times? Will he become a friend, boyfriend or father for her if the need ever arises, or simply because she’d like him to?

A person can love anyone to death, but has to breathe himself to stay alive. Similarly, first of all, women need to realise that they can be more than someone’s wife, mother or sister. They are not put on earth to simply serve, and not everything that makes them happy should be attached or derived from others!