India, Sharing views, Thinking hat, Women

The Ideal Woman

For a man, an ideal wife is someone who is a mother when she cooks for him and serves him, a sister when he needs emotional and mental support, a friend who he can share his feelings with and have fun with and a girlfriend/lover when he needs her in bed.

This is a crude translation of something I had read somewhere a long time back. It stayed with me all these years owing to the sheer audacity with which it expects a woman to cater to her man’s needs and desires like it was her duty and was the basic criteria for her to be bracketed as the ideal one!

I’m sure there were women who went to great lengths to fit into this ‘ideal’ mould. Living in the reflected glory of their husbands and being walked all over day in and day out was something that was taken for granted, even by women. It would be hardly surprising if men conveniently did the same. Will anyone let go or question when he is in such an enviable position?

I’m not trying to make this a feminist post, but what scares and bothers me is the existence of such women even in today’s society! Being a rebel or breaking boundaries isn’t the only thing that can make a woman earn respect for her. The courage to stand on her own and to make her own choices too is enough to give her the confidence she deserves.

In a family, a woman is the cement that binds relationships together. The undesirable job of handling delicate matters with an iron fist, albeit with a velvet glove, can be ably carried out only by her. When there is so much that she does for everybody, shouldn’t she get some attention and care too?

I wonder if anyone thought of making a list of qualities a man should possess before he sets out for marriage. Like for a girl, shouldn’t he have a checklist too? Can he cook? Is he supporting enough to keep her company in good and bad times? Will he become a friend, boyfriend or father for her if the need ever arises, or simply because she’d like him to?

A person can love anyone to death, but has to breathe himself to stay alive. Similarly, first of all, women need to realise that they can be more than someone’s wife, mother or sister. They are not put on earth to simply serve, and not everything that makes them happy should be attached or derived from others!

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  1. I believe you had Chanakya’s quote in mind : ”A good wife is one who serves her husband in the morning like a mother does, loves him in the day like a sister does and pleases him like a prostitute in the night.

    Then there is Marie Antoinette: ”I was a queen, and you took away my crown; a wife, and you killed my husband; a mother, and you deprived me of my children. My blood alone remains: take it, but do not make me suffer long.”

    1. Whoa… Who needs to find references when there are people like you!! 🙂 🙂
      I guess it was Chanakya’s quote. I was and still am offended by it. It isn’t fair to any woman. He might be very learned, but this shows the general perception of a typical male. I wonder what he’d do if he didn’t have a good wife! If a man cannot put a leash on himself, why blame a woman for it, right?

  2. I guess our society is changing now and your wish might get fulfilled some day soon…i’ll be happy too 🙂

    1. Amen! 🙂

  3. People men and women in their different roles have all kinds of ideas. Most of them have been internalized so well that however they try to change or be the change they revert… Hopefuy society changes!

    1. And the hope is people like is exist 😛

      1. Ya ya…the biggg hope 🙂 🙂

    2. If you read the comment you’ll know(or you might know already) that this is Chanakya’s quote. Generations have gone and we still behave and expect the same! The change will come if we let go of our prejudices..

      1. Chanakya or many whoever it was created a system and some norms for a different age! Why do people still stick to it when the age has passed, people have changed!!

        1. Convenience my dear…it is such a nice thing and offers one such a comfortable place.

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