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Stepping into 40s and all that jazz

Grey hair at the roots, a hint of crow feet, a body that has seen better shape, loose fitting clothes and a permanent resigned expression is something I often associated with the 40s women growing up. Judge me for it but back in the day women, even working ones, paid scarce attention to themselves. Many of them had kids of marrying age hence stepping into 40s was a sign of ‘old age’. Not surprisingly, men got away with a rather fancy term; midlife-crisis. Unfair! *Hmpf*

Truly, I’m glad to have born in the 80s. My generation has done everything from sleeping under the stars with our cousins during summer vacations to talking to them on video calls. We’ve cherished eating 50 paisa Pepsis and also the exotic flavours of ice-creams we get today. We’ve seen computers evolve and get smaller in size, floppy disks give way to DVDs and pen drives, the advent of internet, mobiles and then smart phones. Life kept teaching and like eager students we absorbed everything. However, we never took a moment to think about how life would be when we would be grown ups.

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Standing on the threshold of my 30s, I prepare myself for stepping into 40s and feel strangely at peace. My life hasn’t been perfect, yes, but the fascinating part is that I don’t find myself fretting about it. Do I suddenly feel an adrenaline rush or an insatiable urge to follow my dreams? No. Can I make my time on this planet worthwhile by working on my case better? Maybe. Would I trade what I have for anything else? Never!

I wrote this post 4 years ago and am surprised at the positivity with which I was looking forward to welcome this day. There have been few hits and misses yet for most part God has been kind to me. Isn’t this the perfect occasion to leave some thoughts behind for the 50s me for posterity? Why not tell her just how awesome Varsh is? (Excuse the narcissism just this once, pretty please!)*Puppy eyes*

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An ugly duckling, a late bloomer or a tubelight, use any label for me and you’ll probably be right. I’m the overweight teenager who preferred to be hidden transformed into a healthy and fit middle-aged lady who jogs on the road alone and makes heads turn. If Kajol can, why can’t I right? *wink wink* My wardrobe that was once ruled by black is now a riot of bright colours. I’ve changed and for good. Wish I could tell my younger self that self-acceptance is the first step towards self-confidence. *heart emoticons floating around*

I mentally categorise and filter people I meet. Apologies if this sounds rude. I’ve learnt this hard fact during the lockdown that mixing professional and personal life can be extremely tiring. I make and take only important phone calls and drop a message where it can suffice. Also while we’re at it, social media is an illusion and I try to use it to my advantage at best. Drawing the line at the right time is my beloved talent. *Influencer Varsh doing Tch Tch*

Interestingly, I’ve extended so many olive branches to so many people till now that one might contest that I have an olive tree in my backyard.*rolling eyes* My fault or theirs, I blinked and retracted first. Nah, not anymore. I’ve uprooted that imaginary tree and gobbled down all those yummy olives as toppings on my pizzas. Keep good balance on that high horse of yours, just in case.

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I turned into a Potterhead in my 30s and can relish a Murakami, Yuval Noah Harari or Chitra Divakaruni Banerjee with the same dedicated fervour. My listening has improved over time and so have my relationships. I accept compliments gracefully now instead of silently wondering ‘whether I really deserve it’. Becoming a mom of two inspired me to be the best version of myself. Surprising, isn’t it? We age only when our heart ages, not a second before that. *Truth and only the truth*

Finally, stepping into 40s has taught me forgiveness and gratitude. What we can’t change or like, we must accept and move on. It’s simple really. Learning to forgive can be an exhilarating release of pent up emotions and I’m realising it to some extent. The ghosts of our past or the demons from our future shouldn’t influence our present. Be thankful, appreciative and don’t forget to say it out loud. *Best advice ever*

Parents’ love, husband’s encouragement, unconditional support from family and friends and most of all countless warm hugs and wet kisses of my two precious darlings make life seem like a beautiful ride. What did I do to deserve such entitlement to affection? Pray God showers them all with his choicest blessings and good luck!

I’ve run 7 marathons this year (5k, 10k) , feel the excitement of a teenager, read a lot and am doing quality work with the right brands and people. Life has just begun. Stepping into 40s is so much fun, wonder where the next decade would take me. Any guesses?

23 thoughts on “Stepping into 40s and all that jazz

  1. You nailing the 40s. I refuse to grow up and insist being 18 that will be when I reach 50s or 60s. This quote is soo true: “We age only when our heart ages, not a second before that.”

  2. I feel after 40s our own life begins. Before that it is for our kids. We do what they like, we cook what they like. But by 40s kids are matured and independent enough and we get the time to spend on ourselves.

  3. You are such a beautiful soul Varsha. Self acceptance really matters. You inspire me in many ways, I wish to reserve that for chat when we meet. Loads of love and best wishes on your birthday. Candles are just a number, I am sure you will rock the next decade. I am glad we connected.

    1. You’re so kind, Manisha. Thanks a lot for being such a good friend to me. We’ll surely meet when things come to normal. Age is just a number, yes! 😀

  4. Wow what a post Varsha, filled with infectious positivity and optimism. I agree 40s is starting of a new innings and I am glad that you had started this new inning with great enthusiasm on physical, mental and professional level too. being selective and do the things that we actually want to do is one of the best step for peace of mind and good mental health and this thing I am learning again from your today’s post.

  5. Such a positive post just like I would do. Age is just a number. Just the other day I was playing throw ball and basketball with my kids and someone asked me how I am playing this while pushing 40… Like what the heck?

  6. Wishing you belated happy birthday Varsha…yes, we are stepping into our 40s and lots of memories of past started thrilling us. I can say you are doing a great job in your fitness and cooking journey. Best wishes!

  7. Beautiful post and Happy bday Dear…. for me it was tough to accept I’ve entered my 30s n now I’m in mu late 30s n already feel like I have so much too do and I am already approaching 40s… but yes each passing year changes us as we grow with experiences of life.

  8. Many happy returns of the Day Varsha. This is definitely a blissful read. I just adore your writing skill. More way to go and be happy.

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