Two and a half decades ago I shook hands with a friend and declared that we were best friends. Teenagers then, the whole idea was to claim exclusivity over each other’s time, gossip and have a ready shoulder to cry on. The term BFF or Best Friends Forever wasn’t coined till then (if it was, I didn’t know about it!). There was no pressure to keep our word but years, different careers, marriage and kids later we’re still going strong!
At a time when I see relationships crumbling around me, forever sounds ambitious. Romantic liaisons, friendships and even marriages border on convenience with minimal work and effort on making the relationship work. Yet, the frequency with which forever is splashed everywhere makes me wonder. Do we fool ourselves with such words or do they really contribute in breathing life into a dying relationship?
Imagine telling a woman in a bad marriage that she’s bound to her husband for seven lives. She’ll probably use all her pent up frustration to rip you apart for wishing her ill. Same is with friends and relatives we put up with, with or without choice. Care or concern might’ve existed at some point but no one wants to carry it out as a burden when the emotion’s dried up. Would we want a forever with them or will we want an option to bow out if things get intolerably testy?
I’ve gone through heartbreaks, been repeatedly back-stabbed by friends and taken for a ride by people I genuinely cared for. Maturity and a newfound self-love however have taught me what countless hurt accounts in my diaries couldn’t. Toxicity, much like happiness, will not always remain in our lives. Isn’t it something to be happy about?
Forever sounds comforting but is nothing more than a poetic expression. God didn’t put us in the driver seat and give us control of our own lives for a reason. Forever gives us hope, yes, but the realisation that circumstance and death cannot be influenced makes us humble too. Why aim for it when we can have a blissful today and a delightfully well-earned tomorrow? Aren’t they enough?
Do you agree with me? What are your thoughts? Please share them with me.