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Claiming myself back: I’m not a narcissist, but #MyFriendAlexa

Taking yourself out on a date’ is a concept that sounds laughable at the face of it, for some. Why and how does one proceed to achieve it without getting scoffed for it? If you thought that spending time with you isn’t a conscious choice, think hard, may be it is. Treating yourself as an individual who deserves your undivided time and attention doesn’t make you a narcissist. If it does then, well, be one. 🙂

Self-love is a luxury many people don’t offer themselves, including the old me. Bogged by personal or professional commitments and responsibilities, otherwise occupied, marginally inclined or plain exhausted, we find umpteen reasons to put ourselves on the back-burner. Isn’t our inner self worthy of being pampered and taken good care of too? Why put it off for some later time that may or may not come?

My intervention with self wasn’t some glorious Eureka! moment one would prefer to read about. Truthfully, it never is. One wouldn’t expect Biryani to turn out irresistibly lip-smacking without putting in the thought, arduous devotion and perseverance it merits, right? Similarly, self-love develops and grows over time with constant encouragement and reassurance. The process does not necessarily make one a bad, incorrigible narcissist.

Discovering yourself is a pleasure at any age. Once I started putting aside dedicated time for my workouts I realised just how much fun solitude once was. Whenever my heart raced after a cardio session I inadvertently lauded myself for the effort and felt elated. While doing breathing exercises and meditation (which I’m still learning), I reconnected with my thoughts in an intimate way. Why did I ever let go of this precious experience, I wondered.

Apart from the discernible changes, ‘claiming myself back’ introduced me to a new version of myself. I’ll come back to this list every time I want to feel better now. 🙂

I’m extremely focussed once I make up my mind to achieve something. This is new, even for me. 

My rules apply only to myself. I don’t push anyone to follow them. They’re luckier than me. 😛

My journey is my lookout. People and their approval no longer matter to me, finally. What a joy!

I love food but I’m not overly attached to it as I had imagined. I can’t and won’t starve though. 

I’m proud that I’m living by example and practicing what I preach. *pats self on the back* 😉

I’m capable of pushing my limits physically but I don’t need to prove a point with it. 

Naïve of me, but yes, better health and looks have given me immense self-confidence.

This might sound silly but I don’t shy away from taking or posting my pictures anymore. See my social media handles for proof. 😀

Most of all, I don’t repent putting myself before others when needed. This is a welcome change!

All of us spend a lonelier life than we admit and yet getting some me-time requires planning. We are our constant and best companion. Wouldn’t it be good if our thoughts and actions focussed on bettering our quality of life? Going for a movie alone or grabbing a bite at a corner table of our favourite joint, the choices are endless. Take your pick!

If I manage to hold onto this way of life, I confess I risk becoming borderline narcissist. 😉 Is it wrong though? What do you think? 

This post has been written as a part of the #MyFriendAlexa activity by Blogchatter.

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17 Comments

  1. Any journey that one starts achieves not only the goal you set our to achieve, but causes you to discover more goals. Your thoughts, and your post are proof of that.
    A simple thought of losing weight was your trigger, see what all it has helped you realise and achieve, Varsha!
    Well done!

  2. Hi Varsh,

    Such a beautiful post. Loving oneself is very important to have peace of mind. Taking suggestions is a part of life. However I do believe that the last decision should always be yours. Yo are the master and architect of your life. Build it the way you want it to be without thinking much about people’s perception and their unwanted scrutiny.

    Thanks for sharing, have a good day. 🙂

  3. Nisha Malik says:

    I really appreciate your writing. It seems like you speak my heart. And yes, I like to go out on a date with myself too

  4. I totally agree all of us are deep down a little narcissistic & love ourselves a little too much. Also loved your thought about us being a little lonelier than we admit outwardly!

  5. I totally agree with you! And I have been experiencing this lately! If I don’t give time to myself, if I don’t enjoy for myself, I feel low and lethargic and sad! Spending time with oneself is very important!

  6. Gurjeet Chhabra says:

    I rarely have me time , running behind kids and then family responsibility cut down time for my me time.

  7. If that’s borderline narcissist, then I must say we all need to be narcissist now! I have been loving your claiming myself back series, because they seem to be so practical. Self love is something which comes and grows over time.

  8. It’s not naive of you… Better health and looks make a lot of difference to one’s attitude towards life. I suffered from post partum and was very negative especially because of my weight. But now that I am taking care of myself, I feel a lot more positive. You’re on right track, girl!

  9. I loved reading your post. Loving yourself is very important. I feel if I am happy, my near and dear folks also would be happy.
    Loved all the pointers mentioned by you

  10. Beautiful thought amazingly explained, I am in just complete love with each and every blog under this new series of yours

  11. Loved reading this post. I always believe in self love and loving yourself and taking care of yourself is the best feeling.

  12. Namrata Kumari says:

    Loved reading this post. I always believe in self love and loving yourself and taking care of yourself is the best feeling.

  13. I too love myself n I don’t find loving ourselves makes it narcissistic,as I believe that till u don’t love urself no one loves u

  14. It’s nice that you claiming your self back. Giving yourself more preference. Nice article.

  15. Having me time or spending time we with oneself is really important to make you feel relaxed and happy. I love the way you have written .

  16. Loving self has the power of changing the tide of monotony and mid-life crisis. And why should we feel bad about ‘self love’, this over the top sacrificial mother/wife tag society puts on us make me feel sick inside.
    We are human and need a change of perspective every now and then. Lovely post V. I have also written something like that sometime back – https://www.gleefulblogger.com/love-yourself-truly/

  17. Bang on….Varsha.So glad that you have rediscovered the new you and have motivated your readers too into believing in ”self-love’.By the way, when reading the post , one dialogue that was resonating in my mind was ”Ek Baar commitment….” Well…you know this ! 😀

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