I was convinced that my end was near. Turning a blind eye to the caution signals had been a huge mistake. I never expected anything to crack my resolve, yet here I was, preparing myself for the inevitable. No, I’m not exaggerating. Have you ever gone to a new place, tried a whole new spread from the local cuisine and made a run to the loo after a while? It is a wild goose chase to decipher which dish in particular didn’t agree with your sensitive stomach, isn’t it? What I was facing that time was something on the same lines.
Thrice in a week and twice in the same day, I blacked out. Like, literally crashed on the floor. The first few times it happened around my workout so I simply held some overzealous cardio exercises responsible. Also, in a bid to put my new self-hosted blog on the blogging map I was spending an enormous amount of time on it
every day every night. Sleep-deprivation, exhaustion and non-negotiable daily calorie-intake, the reasons were staring me in the face. I knew everything. What else could it be, right?
Wrong! An incensed A dragged me to a nearby clinic for consultation but it turned out to be a lost cause. The only available gynaecologist there asked me pressing questions about my last menstrual date and washed her hands off me. An ophthalmologist we visited after her, for my constant headache, checked my eyes and suggested that I visit a neurologist. None of them bothered or did anything about the hell me and my family were going through.
Meanwhile, people who disapproved of my weight-loss methods promptly, fervently and heartlessly used this opportunity to pounce on me. Thoroughly shaken, I called a friend of mine and asked him about any doctor he could refer me to. The expert he took me to turned out to be my saviour that day, God bless him. He spent a good half hour trying to get to the root of my problem and his diagnosis truly surprised me.
Improper sitting position while using the laptop and vertigo were the major culprits. Imagine! Other things contributed, sure, but diet and workout thankfully weren’t one of them. I breathed a sigh of relief and A, who was frightened and had admonished me for a lifetime that day, finally relaxed.
Self-doubt had managed to scare me that day but the crack hadn’t broken my will. Vigilance, precaution and choice of right postures were what I needed. That wasn’t so difficult. My valuable takeaways from this experience were:
Don’t put your family through a crisis for the sake of your ambition and determination.
Ignoring one thing for another is unwise especially when you have no help or backup.
Everything happens at its pace. I couldn’t blog for a month after this incident. All that earlier effort was gone.
Repeating, still, ‘kuch to log kahenge’. Move on and do your thing.
I must confess that my reckless approach towards self-care took a drastic turn for good that day. Wish it hadn’t happened so severely though. A crack, if not treated or filled in time, can bring down enormous structures.
Our will power and commitment to self is what our healthy body stands on. Can we afford to let them break?
This post has been written as a part of the #MyFriendAlexa activity by Blogchatter.