India, Just rambling, Kids, Sharing views, Women

How 'fair' is this?

 

I don’t want to write a full length post on this one, since we’ve already done that many times. Sadly, the situation as well as the people responsible for it refuse to change, so yet again we have to witness such ‘sorry’ mass mentality.
My sister-in-law gave us a cutie pie bundle of joy this week, my nephew. All of us were indeed mighty excited about this and decided to go meet the new mom and the kiddo over this weekend. Along with us many of her other relatives had also joined in to celebrate the occasion. Amongst them was a sweet but very naughty girl, around 7-8 years old.
The girl slept well beyond 10 o’clock and took milk only after her mother warned her with dire consequences (whatever they were). I was enjoying this whole exercise, even getting bit nostalgic remembering this scene at our home when I was that age. Suddenly, an elderly lady in the family came out and asked her to go take a shower.  As expected, she refused. The lady got very furious and said: 
नहाएगी नहीं तो काली हो जायेगी…फिर तुझसे शादी कौन करेगा…बैठी रहना घर पे!
I was zapped and didn’t know how to react. Worse still, the girl’s reaction to this was even more baffling. She seemed hurt, but nonetheless went ahead and took a shower. 
I didn’t know what to say and to whom, so I just kept quiet. Good thing we’re teaching our daughters. The only intention of our lives is to look ‘fair’ so we can get married easily, that’s all.
Just wanted to get this out of my system.

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32 Comments

  1. 1stt !

  2. add to it..be fair,look good,get married and produce children !

  3. @Nu: 'Look good' is not a criteria duh!. It's just fair skin, even if you look ordinary, you got to be atleast fair yaar. That is the least one expects out of an Indian girl.

  4. @G: Agreed..but rest of the criteria are must hai na ? 🙁

  5. The Indian psyche : "want fair bride"And from what I noticed, women (especially the elder ones) are the ones who encourage this

  6. @ Nu: Yeah…you have no competition here!! YAY!! :D@G: Fair skin is an important criteria…uske saath…khana banana aata hai kya? kaunsi dishes banani aati hai? embroidery aati hai? kaunse classes kiye hain? The list is endless..I've been there…but thankfully in my case things were pretty cool..its irritating yaar!

  7. @Haddock: Oh yeah, elder women will always feel no matter what your qualification you've to fit the bill of being a traditional bride..in fact education will take a backseat for a 'fair and lovely' girl!Welcome here! 🙂

  8. @Nu: Yes bilkul.@Haddock: You know what, I know two women, about 30 years old who keep saying this all the time. "I wish my daughter was as fair as my son. It would have been okay if he was a bit darker" and the second one upon inquiring how her newborn (second daughter) was doing frowned and said " She is fine, but she is a bit dark compared to her elder sis" This is seeming like I am disagreeing to everyone's comments out here. Sorry Varsh, my intention is not to scare ppl away from your blog 😀

  9. @Haddock: agree that this is psyche !! But slowly it will change…let's be hopeful and start from us !@G: No,no..we are not scared of you..heheh..hum baccho se nahi darte !

  10. @G: No dear..I can understand..I've heard this so many times myself..my mom-in-law complaining that her son is a lot fairer than me! My son has my looks but its good he isn't dark like me! And yes..for girls it is mandatory to be fair for good marriage prospects..this is still the general belief. You're welcome to disagree as long as you keep coming back to disagree! 😀 😀

  11. Varsh do check this post that I did few months back http://nupurphatak.blogspot.com/2009/11/how-fair-is-fair.html

  12. Well…..I love dusky girls………my gf is dusky………and i believe the worst and the most misleading product manufactured by human beings is fairness products and their advertisements they suck!

  13. oh just realized that you have already read that post and commented too 😛

  14. @Addy: Oh, great! Its good when someone from the opposite sex echoes our opinion. Its the fairness products that create the false mentality that 'fair' is important and until you reach there you're a waste! Lucky girl, your gf! 🙂

  15. I want a "like" button here too, as on Facebook. I want to "like" Varsh's comment to ALL 🙂

  16. Hmmm…why not I put this on facebook and you can like it there??

  17. yes Varsha, its the dark reality of our society…its the universal prob…and nt just related to India….Remember the fight by Nelson Mandela….the basis of it was the Dark People…the only one solution to such ill comments is listen frm one ear and bid good bye through the other…..

  18. Hi Rohini…how true…paying heed to such nonsense can only be more irritating for us…people who say such things never really bother with anything right or wrong attached with it..

  19. On that note, adding you on FB. 🙂

  20. Yupp…I'll follow you there 😀

  21. A big SIGH. This thing about fair or not baffles me so much. Why the hell are people so concerned about the color. SIGH.

  22. So true T…this quest for being 'fair' puts a lot of pressure on girls too! They'll subject themselves to all kinds of chemicals and products which can actually spoil their skin permanently. Who's to make them think otherwise? 🙁

  23. Perhaps its not your system that it needs to get out of!

  24. @Humbug: Rephrase….not just my system it needs to get out of! The society at large needs to take a matured look at this, isnt it?Welcome here 🙂

  25. Thats what i meant, you need to tell the people who suffer from such symptoms to rid themselves of this illness.

  26. We can try..but it is for people to understand on their own that any importance being attached to such a thing is of no consequence…

  27. You give people way too much credit.You can take a hungry horse to food but if its stupid you might have to inject it with saline.

  28. Exactly my point dear…you can spoon-feed but chewing and swallowing is not in your capacity…you can ask the person to do it…but if (s)he refuses…you can do little about it!

  29. Even if people were to ignore the colour of the skin, the adman would make sure that they don't; every other ad we see is for fair skin for women AND now, for men too!Nice post Varsh. Will come back for more. My son recommended you!

  30. Hi zephyr…welcome here :)True…misleading ads play a very big role in creating this false impression that 'colour' matters a lot..and yes…now even guys aren't left out! 😀

  31. Sigh..and they get them started so young..work on gora kaala since the kids are just about old enough to understand the words and what they mean..Been there..gone through that..had a lot of complex because of that..Why can't they look at how much the eyes shine on a duskier person or the smile that seems more bright..Sigh..

  32. Yes Comfy…I had to got through a lot of it too…but I felt bad for the little girl..wasn't she too small to even bring up things like 'looking good' or 'marriage'in front of her? And I seriously believe that dusky people have more defined features..

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