When well-meaning folks said this to me when I was younger, I was quick to brush it off. A teenager possibly cannot fully comprehend the importance of experiences in life; good or bad. Today though, I realise how being called out for every little virtue or vice of mine has helped mould me. I know my strengths and weaknesses and am better equipped to utilise and improve upon them.
I’ve often introspected:
Was my weight holding me down from expressing myself better?
Were my creativity or hobbies influenced in any way by the extra kgs I was carrying?
Did people judge me as unkindly as I judged myself?
Did it affect my personality or the person I was and am I being paranoid about it now?
Is life only about trying to look good?
Self-observation teaches us quite a few interesting things. I never saw myself through rose-tinted glasses but am now tempted to try. This journey wasn’t laden on me by anyone else. Right or wrong, is an individual perception, although being more physically fit than many women my age is a kick I’ll happily take any day. I certainly won’t feel apologetic for the months of conscious effort I put in.
I’m more secure emotionally and mentally. I remember abhorring going shopping, for the prettiest dresses weren’t available in my size. The double chin made applying makeup tricky. Even as A egged me on, the umpteen promises I made to myself never materialised before. Imagine my delight now that I’m spoilt for choice. I’m vain may be, but happy, definitely!
Did you know that pocrescophobia is a fear of gaining weight? Amusingly, my aversion to high-calorie food has convinced everyone around me that I have it. (I doubt if they know there’s a word for it though.) Personally, I know there’s no place for any phobias in my life anymore. I’m blogging, reading, cooking up a storm, influencing my kids and have a revering husband. Life is good!
Self-love and a healthy lifestyle are a personal choice and responsibility. I’m glad to have documented the last few months of my life through this series. I gained immense confidence through the courage to take the reins of my life in my own hands. After all, every person, man or woman, owes this to himself. Thank you readers, for all your love.
This post has been written as a part of the #MyFriendAlexa activity by Blogchatter.