- 46
- 227 words
She bit her lip to avoid screaming out loud whenever her smooth skin brushed against the rough greasy interior of the car trunk. She felt disgusted, filthy but this was imperative.
His behaviour of late had aroused a lot of suspicion. His offhand attitude paired with frequent implausible excuses had made her take this extreme step. Spying wasn’t her style, yet this situation called for it.
As the car came to a halt in the parking lot, she waited patiently for him to get out. She had overheard their indulgent conversations and laughter in the trunk. “He has replaced me with her!” she felt a pang of jealousy.
With her judgement clouded by his blind love, the question of how she would get out hadn’t crossed her mind. As she pondered her next move, the hood opened up and he, flabbergasted, asked, “Mom! What are you doing here?”
Linking this with Mayuri and Tina for #FridayFotoFiction
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46 comments
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varsha.bagadia@gmail.com
Wow! Loved your idea on this prompt and nicely written
Thanks Amreen
Nice write up with suspense and style
Thanks Ghazala.
Beautifully penned down post. Like the way you write all the suspense and create interest.
Thanks, Minakshi. Fiction is better with some suspense, isn’t it?
That’s an awesome read with lots of thrill.
Thank you.
Superb take on the prompt! Thrill read!
Thanks a lot, Zainab.
Ha ha ha…loved it…short but amazing thrilled and excited till I read d word ”mom”
Glad you liked it. ????
You really caught me on this ???? at first I was confused with her being wife ????
Actually it’s still confusing for me. Guess I need help
Help with what?
That’s what I wanted the reader to believe. 🙂
Such an amazing write up, I was actually keen about knowing like what next, what next, well the end was funny hah! ⚡️
Haha. I’m glad the suspense was worth the wait, Prerna. ????
Wow i loved the story!!! loved the end ????
Thank you so much, Richa.
Oh my god, talk about over possessive mom. Sounds creepy to me
Well, I hope there aren’t any such moms in reality! ????
Cool, had a smile when the mom was revealed,lol..nice write up
Thanks Jhilmil. 🙂
It’s all good read.. Loved reading especially the end
Thank you.
Okay that was unexpected! ???? I thought it was his wife.. but anice concept
Thanks Mrinal. ????
hahah.. the twist is unexpected. I was on the cliched note of suspecting something else. very well done Varsha
Haha. Thanks Dipika. I wanted it to sound mundane and twist it in the end. Glad it worked. 😉
Letting go of the birds out of the nest can be so difficult! Until you revealed “She”, the mother, I was veering into another direction! That was a surprise, so very well guarded, Varsha. Very engaging tale!
Anagha has recently posted… Mute Witness
Thank you so much, Anagha. I arrived at the Mom angle after a lot of contemplation. Others were more or less expected. ????
I love the way you put the element of surprise and how you build up the scene!
Thank you so much!
That was so intriguing… absolutely loved reading!!
Thanks, Deepika.
Oooops! now this was very awkward!!! 😉
Haha, awkward yes. I wonder who would get the bigger shock. ????
This was hilarious and a great take on the prompt, Varsha! Loved it!
Thank you for writing for #FridayFotoFiction
Thanks, Mayuri. I loved doing it like always. 🙂
Mom, Now days. by the way it’s a good story. 🙂
Thank you, Gaurav. ????
My god that was hilarious! I can’t even imagine myself doing such a thing when my 2 yr old is older!! Lol. Thanks for linking up with #FridayFotoFiction
I hope you don’t. I’m convinced moms are capable of anything to guard their young ones, me included. ????
Ha! That was one unexpected end to that story, V. I contemplated a lover, a jealous wife but definitely not a mother.
Even I didn’t think of a mother when I started writing, Perfy. By the end the idea seemed quirky and I followed it. ????