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The big old child #NaBloPoMo day 4

Being foolishly stubborn, refusing to abide by rules, feeling insecured and stopping at nothing to get some attention are traits we normally associate with kids. While they are all true, we also know that, considered as childhood revisited, old age displays these very shenanigans. Unfortunately, they are even more pronounced the second time round.

Last two days have been nothing less than a walk on the rope for all of us, what with the (painfully adamant) big old lady child of the house refusing to skip visiting relatives and not paying the slightest heed to her diabetes and blood pressure diet and medicines while gorging on everything from chaklis and gulab jamuns to fried papads and laddoos. 

Doesn’t voluntarily ignoring your daily critical medical prescriptions imply that you are more or less inviting a disaster? With three kids in the house and endless rounds of places we have to mark our attendance at, are we to be blamed entirely for not monitoring the only thing she has to keep track of in the whole day? 

Yes, old age and childhood are similar in many ways, but one thing that is markedly different is the guilt factor we have to face. With kids the guilt comes from within us since we feel responsible for those little beings, but the guilt-inducing jabs elders make on us despite everything we do for them are the truly punishing ones. 

Why aren’t we told beforehand that what they did for us as kids was merely for reciprocation? Was this why we were brought into this world? Did we ask for it? Shouldn’t being accountable for our own health be our own call? 

Loving our children is one thing and expecting them to tiptoe around us day in and day out is another. Ignoring the signs of the depleting immunity of our body and then holding everyone else at ransom for leading them to it has no semblance of logic to it. Whatever we do, no one can breathe or live for us right? 

I know I wouldn’t want to be bedridden and dependant on anyone for anything in my old age, God forbid. We can’t predict future, but we can definitely follow a healthy lifestyle and give our body the love and respect it deserves. It is never too late to start and is our first and foremost duty towards ourselves.

39 thoughts on “The big old child #NaBloPoMo day 4

  1. It is a very old saying in India that child inside us revisits us when we are old….. and when our soul turns a child again we feel dependent on others….. closed ones….loved ones….. whom we can rely on…. moreover Indian culture was always close knit family… society….. we are born when we are trying to change things…. and so this struggle inside us….. but this is also a lovely experience… something to cherish on….. enjoy the game….. life is beautiful…..cheers

    1. Considering what we went through for past few days I don’t think I can agree that it is a lovely experience. It it terribly hard to make an aged person listen to you when they should be the ones guiding us.

      1. They guide us to the extent of us being independent and educated…. One who can take independent decision…. And once we reach that stage they again become dependent on us….. This is vicious circle…. And this is what life is….. Cheers… ????????

  2. You know what happened start of year…apparantly some aunty told my mom that if she goes to a temple and puts away all the medicines her diabetes etc will vanish..

    So what happens ..after not taking medicines.. God did not come down to remove the diabetes..????

    I had to rush to india .. my sis had to rush from Australia. . To make sure this does not happen..after that aunty and her ways have been banned..

    I am in a similar position with mom.. she is becoming more childish day b day…

    1. I totally understand you Bikram! We have seen one maharaj after another visiting our place to remove any bad omens and doing some or the other puja for it. Whenever we object she says we wish her to be unwell and she will die because of us. :-/
      Please keep such auntys away from your mom. They can only damage and sadly our parents see it pretty late.
      Hope your mom is ok now…

        1. We feel so helpless yaar. We know what we should do too. Yesterday the doc visited and told her exactly the same things we said. She nodded till the time he was there and then back to square one. 🙁

  3. You know what the worst part is, you can make a young kid listen to you by some means but dare not do that with a old kid!.. We always have to keep in mind that they becomes KIDS but they are still OLD! Same story everywhere..

    1. Exactly. Handling them is even harder. They are your elders and you want to love and respect them, but they behave so strange and unreasonable that you tend to lose your patience once in a while.

  4. Elder care might seem like child care but is noway similar in the amount of labor and psychological exhaustion it entails. I completely agree with the point that the elderly people ought to take care of their health on their own (in areas that don’t need help from anyone else) and aim to understand the difficulties of their care-giver.
    *Hugs Varsh*

    1. Psychological exhaustion…that is the perfect term to describe it. We don’t like to see them like that too, but they refuse to accept this fact. ‘Just let me so what I want till I go’ she says. How can we? 🙁
      Thank you so much dear. ((Hugs))

        1. This is my second time. Earlier it was my mom, now it is my mom-in-law. I could pacify and coerce my mom a bit, but in this case all I can do is sit back and listen.

  5. Varsh, I just wish I was with you when you experienced this. I just want to give you a big tight hug. The questions you have asked are the ones many of us have been asking. The jabs. Those accusations. They kill. I experience this with my in-laws and Mom. Dad is very responsible and takes good care of himself. He says I don’t want to burden my kids who already lead a stressful life. I wish all elders understood this and took care of their daily diet and medical schedules. Handling kids is way easier than handling tantrums in elders.

    1. It was and is terrible Rekha. Every morning we hoped that day passed uneventfully and it seldom happened. Calling the doctor for visit at home at odd hours was common. Even after that she would tell him, don’t pester me..give me some injections…I feel this is it…when am I going. 🙁
      I wish I could get that hug Rekha. It was torturous. We came back home but the rest of the family there is still panicked.

  6. When I see the oldies here in UK still working even part time or r the only ones taking care of themselves, I felt bad for them n then I thought how proud they must feel to be able to take care of themselves even at this age…
    yes as we go old we become childish n I have all sympathies with the one who takes care of them… no matter what our culture says…it’s not an easy task….I know of one 65 healthy woman one day saying she has had too much n now everyone should take care of her… the burden she put on her daughter, n then because she refused to do anything day by day she deteriorated n then now bed ridden ????

    1. Children are happy to look after their parents, but let them do it out of respect and love and not because they are bound to. It is unfair to them. They have a family to look after too. This kind of pressure tears them down.
      Health is in no one’s control, but one can keep himself occupied so the frustration that comes with being dependent doesn’t drive you mad.

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