Few days ago I received a call from A’s cousin, T, who was complaining about some girl his parents have seen for him and how he wants the matter to be put on hold. Following this I had a long discussion with his mother aka my aunt-in-law, but determined as she was, she paid no heed to my defences, all my convincing powers failed and the ‘ladka dikhane ka program’ went ahead as planned.
The girl’s family visited their place and as I hear, looked visibly impressed. After all, who wouldn’t like his daughter to be married to a guy who has a good job, good social standing and a good family background?! They invited our family over to their place to proceed, now with ‘ladki dikhana’.
So now we’re here. Our family’s waiting for an auspicious occasion to go see her. From what I saw in her bio-data, the girl’s good-looking, well-educated and belongs to a good family. ‘Reports’ about the girl have also been favourable. My aunt-in-law has decided that she’ll complete all the minor formalities to ‘book’ the girl before any wrong-doer turns up and messes the whole thing.( You’ve got to be kidding!!)
T is shaking in his shoes since he feels its all happening a bit too soon. He called me up again to share his nervousness and his inability to compel his parents to take it slow. Here’s how our conversation went:
T : Bhabhi, Mom and Dad have already decided on what all they’ll give the girl once everything falls in place!
Me: Why don’t you tell them you want more time to think?
T: I tried, but you know them na..they are saying there’s a right time for everything and there’s no point in waiting now.
Me: Do you not like the girl? Tell them so..
T: No no..there’s nothing wrong with the girl. I’ve heard only good things about her from everywhere.
Me: Then what’s the problem?
T: If I get married I’ll loose my freedom. I won’t be able to come home and leave at my own will.
Me: This will happen even if you marry after 5 yrs. You have certain responsibilities after marriage. What’s wrong in that?
T: May be you’re right. But what about my freedom?
And the same thing continued for another hour…..grrrrr……Gimme a break!
Now, if you ask me I’m kind of confused as to what T exactly wants. If he wants to marry, why not just accept it and marry! Or may be he enjoys us trying to persuade him to do it. May be he enjoys the attention. Honestly, it gets a boring after I’ve repeated the same things to him over and over again.
But as they say, marriage comes with a baggage, so आलिया भोगासी असावे सादर !!
1stt !
well I guess T is not ready to accept that there are certain responsibilities which come with marriage on both the parties 🙂 T needs to realize that it's going to be a modification in her freedom too..so take it as a same pinch thing and enjoy together..set some rules and let each other have some own space 🙂 Hai na ? That's what you,me and others have done and we are so very happy,right ? Tell him about you and A 🙂
Yeah Nu you first!!! :)I've tried endlessly to make him realise that the responsibilities become something you look forward to, if you take them positively. If you feel that they bind you, they most certainly will.I gave him our example, and asked him if A was happier before marriage. He agrees, but still, NATAK!!!
hehehe..then to uski shaadi kara hi do…tabhi samjhega 🙂
Interesting narration on getting married. 🙂 Enjoyed reading it. :)Best wishes. 🙂
@Nu: So it shall happen anyway :)@Chandrika: Thank you and welcome to my blog :)Hope to see you here again 🙂
🙁 He just has to change his mindset. It's all int he attitude towards how you look at things, no? If he thinks of it in a positive manner, then it might not matter so much after all. Hope everything goes well.
Yeah..starting out with so much negativity can make the whole thing seem tedious and vain…lets keep our fingers crossed and hope for the best.Thanks T 🙂
Hey First Time here.. Nice write up ! And I guess this is common mindset of current guys of our age group and when the age passes by desperation builds on 😀 Btw you had asked about the events right ; here is the link http://events-n-roundups.blogspot.com/ , just browse through and you can participate in any of them ! Enjoy hope to see your kitchen experiments soon 🙂
@Kanchan: Thanks..both for visiting and the link :)Yupp…I'm looking forward to sharing my experiments too..sounds fun to me 😀
Goodness Varsha I can give u 1 more example….somebody I know was of marriagable age & his parents were trying to get him married. He was good-looking, had a good job and wd have got very good girls. But he was enjoying his freedom too much.Now 3 years later he is still good-looking but lost a lot of his hair so u can imagine how it is and he left the job he had for something else which did not work out. End result: 30 yrs old, unmarried, not so gr8 job and not so prospective anymore.There r certain things which have to be done at certain time. Play with it and it will be difficult to put it back into place after tht.The thing is…U, I & his parents will understand what I'm saying but the son wont…he will only see the light after it plays out in his life;-(
How true..but know what…I'm very glad he took our advice and went ahead to see that girl. He liked the girl and they're engaged now! I've seen few examples like you stated too..too much of insistance or fault-finding can lead to such unfortunate situations in future. Some things MUST be done at the right time :)Welcome back here 🙂