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Claiming myself back: Swatting away naysayers #MyFriendAlexa

“Ignore the naysayers. They don’t know what they’re talking about when it comes to your life. Only you decide what’s possible.” ~ Maria Lesetz.

“What have you done to yourself? This wasn’t needed!”

“You look skinny and sick. Have you stopped eating?”

“It will all come back once you stop doing this, you know.”

If you’ve been through any weight-loss regime you might be aware that results show rather quickly in the initial days. Depending upon your choice of workouts your body starts getting toned and your hard work is out for everyone to see. (My personal opinion: Jogging, skipping, squats, abs workouts or Power Yoga are tremendously effective if done regularly.)

Nothing is quite as motivating as being appreciated for it, but alas, people sure know how to suck the joy out of it. One month into my journey and everyone around me made it their business to ‘warn’ me about the visible changes. It was surprising, really. Some of them could’ve been genuinely concerned, however this sudden wave of uninvited affection both amused and irritated me.

Naysayers are goalless and directionless people who’re ironically enthused to (mis)guide us. They might be selflessly giving in their books but are nothing more than a hindrance in reality. They’re a dime a dozen and everywhere. How can we wiggle away from their path so as not to let their negativity impress open us?

Be upfront!

We might not realise it but people have a field day ‘testing’ us especially when it’s something they’re themselves incapable of. “How can you give up chocolates?” or “I guess you won’t join us at Pizza Hut?” are subtle hints at condescension. All I can say is, throw some wisecrack at them, smile brilliantly and ignore!

Learn to say no

Whether it is a pastry that doesn’t fit into our diet or a party that coincides with our workout time, never agree to compromise for anyone’s sake. Accommodating our preferences should never be an issue. Our real friends would understand, work around it and never force us to break our resolve.

By all means, show off!

Remember how it pleased us when we showed off our new board games or dresses to our friends as kids? I don’t support boasting, however when it entails a slap on the face of vitriolic people, I’m all for it. 😀 Let them bite their words while we shine with that sparkling halo on our head. Heaven couldn’t feel better than this now, could it? 🙂

Have I achieved zen, now that I’m doling out so much of gyaan? Frankly, no. I’m merely trying to share some practical issues that helped me get a mental grasp on myself and sail through. I have faced these challenges first-hand, after all! 🙂

‘Claiming myself back’ was a physically, emotionally and psychologically trying but a good learning experience for me. Along with and more than what I should do, I learnt what I shouldn’t do. Well-laid plans can bite dust with a single pessimistic thought and we must never allow that in our life.

Agree with my thoughts? Am I being too selfish? Please share with me.

This post has been written as a part of the #MyFriendAlexa activity by Blogchatter.

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  1. important to love yourself

  2. I know what you mean, Varsha. Some people can’t contribute anything, except their useless opinions. My pet peeve too is people challenging my personal challenges!
    You keep going, you’re doing great!

    1. I feel motivated to carry on even more after these people give their useless opinions. Thanks, M. You take challenges and beat them too. I love it!

  3. I have been trying to lose weight… struggling with low determination and self control levels along with bad eating habits and a very sedentary lifestyle…

    Had gotten extremely unhealthy and obese and then I tried to lose weight… for years. 2 years and I finally saw a weight lose of 6kgs and guess what! All the people who saw me struggling and even stopped me in the streets (of course, the indian aunties) to tell me I should get thin! and now? Now, they cannot give a word of encouragement but would rather say… OMG… u look famished. You look sick and blah blah!

    Sometimes I wish I could cut the tongue of such people. LOL

    The point is no matter how u do it and whether u do it or not… people are never going to be helpful and kind to your struggles and progress. That’s just the way some people are.

    1. Exactly, Manpreet. I faced the same things too. One Aunty told me I was fat when I was 5 months pregnant, can you imagine! Another one looked at my post-natal weight and added ‘ab to ye wajan nahi jayega’. Who asked them, anyway?
      Thankfully, these same people are now visibly struggling with their health and weight issues and are finally acknowledging my efforts to maintain a healthy lifestyle. Of course, there’s always the ‘you’re going to fall prey to your cravings someday’ taunts but I just don’t heed them anymore!
      Thanks for sharing your journey with me. You’ll surely get where you want to be. All the best!

  4. its so good reading such wonderful posts … this made my day
    this is so beautiful, love to visit once…

  5. No matter what people say my dear, you are an inspiration to me for doing it the right way 🙂

    1. Thank you so much, Roma! 🙂

  6. Oh My! What’s wrong with you V, kuch lete kyo nahi!! Hahah… true agree to every point my friend. Keep the aim intact and listen to your heart. Let the ‘log’ say whatever they want to. Who Cares?

    1. Haha, thanks D. True, they have to just say something. What they think or say shouldn’t matter to us.

  7. Hi Varsh,

    People will always have something to say. As the famous dialogue from a bollywood movie “Kuch to log kahenge, Logon ka kaam hai kehna.”

    Take the positives and simply ignore others which means nothing to you.

    Have a great day. 🙂

    1. Of course, Sajid. The song stays relevant even now and in more ways than it was intended to! Ignorance is truly bliss.
      Thanks for reading. Have a good day! 🙂

  8. I am all in support of NO to Negativity.. be it anyone. Agree with people retaliate for things they are incapable of. Stay Strong and Firm!.
    #MyFriendAlexa #momlearningwithbaby #blogchatter

    1. Thanks for reading.

  9. Life is full of people and their opinions. Well- take the best leave the rest. You are doing a great job of maintaining your health. Rest log tho kahenge unka kaam hai kehna…isnt it? 🙂

    1. Thank you so much, Sudha. My health is my concern and responsibility. Just trying to do what is right for me. Log kahenge, yes. Sigh!

  10. My maid came home this morning saying, “Tai, building mein sab log bol rahe hai ki teri sethani ko khatarnak bimari ho gai hai. Itni patli kaise dikh rahi hai. Maine bola – woh dieting karti hai, aur exercise karti hai”
    Hahahaha…it felt good to know that my maid has been observing my tryst with my weight and she even respects it. It told me that if one embarks on a journey, people are going to give their two bit…but we need to keep walking.

    Thank you for sharing your journey, Varsha, I am looking forward to reading more of your posts – each one in this series is more interesting than the previous one. #MyFriendAlexa #MayuraReads

    1. We’re in the same boat Mayura, and I’m glad I have company (albeit virtual) in this journey. I look at your pictures and think, ‘now here’s someone who’s on the same track as me!’.
      Your maid is more understanding than most women I’ve met. My true respect for her for standing up to others for your sake and even appreciating your hard work. Few understand that weightloss can be done in a healthy way and it isn’t just to ‘look good and young’.
      Thanks a lot for your kind words, dear. Next post will be up soon. 🙂

  11. It is so important to love yourself! amazing article #Viddhreads #Myfriendalexa

    1. Glad you liked it. Thanks for reading.

  12. Humans are social animals who thrive on reciprocity. It’s in our nature to be socially obliging, and the word no feels like a confrontation that threatens a potential bond. But when we dole out an easy yes instead of a difficult no we tend to overcommit our time, energy and finances. The ability to communicate ‘no’ really reflects that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life. It gives you a sense of empowerment. And if you’re worried that your no might seem threatening, don’t be. Be proud of being yourself.

    1. That’s a wonderful thing to say, Romila. The ‘no’ is indeed a sense of empowerment. It tells me that I’m incharge. What others perceive is not really my burden. A well-meaning person will surely appreciate my sentiment behind it and accept it wholeheartedly.
      Thanks for reading. 🙂

  13. You have written an extremely optimistic post about self love. This is specially so relevant for women, when they hardly find time for themselves. More power to you, wonderful lady!

    1. Women always put others before themselves, isn’t it? Even a few minutes to ourselves can be extremely satisfying is what I’ve learnt over the past few months. The time isn’t hard to find if we want to and try to. We only have to begin.
      Thanks a lot for your kind words, Anupriya. 🙂

  14. jaya1966 says:

    I loved the proverb by Maria Lesetz you have included in the beginning. It is indeed true that unsolicited advice and unnecessary concern where it comes to others business is always floating in the air. Just need to carry on our journey and turn a deaf ear to it.

    1. Isn’t the line perfect for the tone of this post? I loved it the moment I read it. People always make it a point to poke their noses where it isn’t required. Let them do what they want, we cannot change our course for anyone’s sake.
      Thanks for reading. Jai.

  15. Agree, agree, and agree. We should learn to accept what we are and be comfortable with ourselves. As long as one has a mouth, they’ll have an opinion. No need to take it though. After all, if we don’t bet on ourselves, who would ever will?

    1. I loved your last line, Varad. We need to bet on ourselves first. We should make ourselves a priority and not let others deter us from our goals with their opinions. They can say all they want, we only have to ignore!

  16. Well said, aimless gossipmongers can only try to shut you down after first step. Go realize our dream we can just ignore them. Have been following this series, waiting for next one.

    1. Your positive comments are so welcome, Pragnya. Definitely far far away from the nosy gossipmongers who ruin our days with their chatter. Hope to see you around for the next one. 🙂

  17. apt post..i am on anti inflammatory diet and so i have to ans so many questions ..its reallly life my choices..n i love myself so am dng best 🙂

    1. Refer point 1 and stick to it. Questions will seize to come. 🙂
      All the best for your diet. Thanks for reading.

  18. Dr.Amrita says:

    Its important to ignore naysayers in all aspects of life.I give a very wide birth to negativity.

    1. Thanks, Amrita.

  19. Ignoring the naysayers is an art. It is easier said than done sometimes but is important if one wants to move forward. Well written!

    1. True. Thanks for reading, Purva.

  20. Keep going girl, you will get more people who would demotivate you than who would encourage. You are on the right track…trust yourself as you do

    1. True that. For every one positive person there will be 4 negative ones. Motivation hence works best when it comes from within. Thanks for reading, Vartika.

      1. Very ture and I learned it the best while working from home since last 9 years. I had to be self driven and self motivated to drive my job.

  21. One should be numb to people around especially the naysayers. Do what feels right as that’s what matters the most. Another inspiring one.

    1. Being numb to them is tough but it certainly is advisable. We can do without their negativity. Thanks, Deepa.

  22. You have no idea how helpful this article is to people with anxiety. This really helps people believe in themselves.

    1. Happy to know that, Prerna. Thanks for reading.

  23. People love to pass free opinions and most of them are full of negativity. It is best to ignore and keep moving!

    1. Indeed, Arv. When we’re doing something right then the only way forward is going ahead on our path. Thanks for reading.

      1. 🙂

  24. I have learnt to say no the hard way and now I jus say it on the face. I can’t sugar coat anything. Get what you give!

    1. Better to be honest than mincing words for people who don’t matter. Thanks for reading, Tina.

  25. I agree with you. Even I get pissed when people put their opinions on me without thinking much and over the period of time I have learnt from those people that saying no is an art. So I give their art back to them now.

  26. These people somehow exist around us but stay away from our eyes until we actually do something. I used to start laughing in their faces if someone said something like this to me. Confused them and me to be honest.

  27. I so agree with you. In life, we meet all kinds of people and there are always some to bog you down. And we need to learn to ignore them. What a motivating post!

  28. Saying No is very important ..It’s actually the toughest thing to do but once you learn you can never fail.

  29. That’s a perfect statement. We should all try to claim ourselves if we feel deviated from what best we were. Great reading!

  30. Woodtouch, I didn’t had any experience of this journey but yes I can for sure say that there are very few people who really understand your journey, and would never ask you to compromise for anyone. Great learnings Varsha!

  31. Wow that’s beautiful post..loving yourself is equally important as loving others

  32. VrrV beautifully written. Some people can’t appreaappr and make other’s happy. I loved the pointer learn to say no, many of us often ignore it

  33. Claiming oneself back is really important I believe. People are always there with free advice, and won’t hesitate to comment without thinking. I think you did a great job and should definitely be paidp of it! More power to you lady.

  34. I face that all the time! I try to diet to take care of my digestive system (IBS) and all the time people taunt and it gets super irritating! Now I know what to do with them! 😀

  35. rashimital says:

    I loved the ‘show off’ part. I have, through the hard way and much later in life, learnt all these. Sometimes, I admit, I regret why hadn’t I said a no or gave a damn to certain people. But then I remind myself regrets dont take us anywhere. It’s good I learnt these still early in life as compared to some who never learn. M glad you did too. #LiveItYoungReads #MyFriendAlexa

  36. The best idea is to ignore naysayers very artfully.. Very inspiring post.. I always try to ignore them

  37. I love your post it’s beautifully written.. Your right in fact critsim motivates me more to do better

  38. Nisha Malik says:

    I think it’s okay to be little selfish. And why not. Every body has a right to be happy and do the needful. Loved the post.

  39. Saying ‘no’ is tough sometime but if you learn to say that, it is the best thing you learn. Great article.

  40. There are many who say no to you. one most take it as a way and reply challenge accepted and move on. loved your post

  41. Naysayers can be hell, I’ve learned to say no the difficult way. i wish I learned that earlier but better late than never!

  42. beautiful thought amazingly written, plus it was a motivational piece in its own way

  43. Papri Ganguly says:

    Self love is not being selfish . I totally agree with your thoughts here . Just love the way to describe everything here .

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