Coming from someone who is presumed aimless for renouncing all career goals and aspirations for a life of domestication and erstwhile languor, my opinion in this regard may not hold ground with many. Nevertheless, women who believe in not shutting off one side of their heart or brain to converge their focus and energy on something that ‘fits their plan’ would find some relevance with it.

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The first glance at this image will unequivocally garner the same response from most people, “How true!” After all, it is only astute to hanker after financial independence and an individual life that doesn’t depend on anyone else’s existence in our scheme of things. We need to sort ourselves out before inculcating anyone else in our space.

Do our lives go according to our plans every time though? There are those inane things called opportunity and destiny that knock on our door all but once, their intent or preference immaterial. They get hold of us unguarded and unprepared and leave us with little time to ponder over seizing the moment or letting it pass us by forever.

Our life is not a computer whose settings we can alter on a whim and we cannot function like a computer program that jumps from step to step unthinkingly and monotonously without the nagging question “Did I miss something?” dancing on our minds the whole time. Life’s beauty is in its fickleness. Wouldn’t it be unwise to snub something only because we hadn’t accounted for it on the current step we are on?

When we can multitask at home or work, is it implausible to do it in our lives too? Instead of looking at them as steps, why can’t we see them as a mesh that engages and involves all aspects of our lives and places them together in perfect harmony?

True, one can be a late bloomer, Mr. Right can choose to remain in hiding until we give up on finding him altogether or marriage may happen late or not happen at all. There have been examples in the past when someone passed tenth standard at 50 or found love and/or a life partner after 60. Can we predict the odds for any of these things beforehand? Why close our heart to what life has to offer then?

Everything has a time. If these steps are a motivation to invest better and harder in ourselves, good enough, else let’s roll around the mesh and let them congregate and surprise us.

What do you think?

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44 thoughts on “Steps for career, love and marriage

  1. Gm Varsha! A good post ! The beauty of life lies in the small little surprises and opportunities it springs up. It is impossible to plan every step in life we want to take. I firmly believe it is never too late to learn something in life. At times I feel bad about some opportunities I missed on, but then that is life. You miss some, you gain some. Some are seasonal bloomers, some belated bloomers while some others are perennial bloomers. Depends in which category we fall!

    1. Good afternoon Radhi! I believe that if we plan everything to the T there are chances that not only will it take the fun out of it but also lead to unnecessary disappointment if things don’t pan out the way we expected them to.
      Sure, I regret sometimes about the opportunities lost too, but I feel that on some grounds I’ve managed to be better than others. Everyone doesn’t live by the same rules and standards.

  2. Varsh, I am totally with you from the get go. “Coming from someone who is presumed aimless for renouncing all career goals and aspirations for a life of domestication and erstwhile languor, my opinion in this regard may not hold ground with many.” I don’t understand why everyone goes on and on about making choices and the freedom to live the way you want yet judge you for the choices you make!
    Choosing one over the other, or having both simultaneously is a very personal thing. What’s good for one may not be seen so approvingly by another. It is a fact of life. However, most people tend to think that progressive means running after career or money. And if you choose matters of the heart over the mind, you are living in the Dino era.
    I think that there are no steps to follow,no abiding rules and nothing else more important than doing what is right by you. In the words of Sheryl Crow – “If it makes you happy, it can’t be that bad!”

    1. There, you said it! Running after money and a career full of accolades isn’t and shouldn’t be everyone’s dream. It is a matter of personal choice and no one has the right to make assumptions about anyone on those grounds. I sometimes feel burdened by peoples’ opinions about how unfortunate it is that I chose to be a homemaker over making a living.
      I’m so glad I have a husband who wants me to live and work freely on my terms and not get wound up in the whole 9-5 thing or a highly demanding corporate job. You are absolutely right. Our happiness is what counts, and if we’re happy it cannot be bad! 🙂

  3. It probably could have been possible that – this write-up would not hold ground with me. But then a question hit my mind – ‘Why not?’.
    I mean there are millions of ladies, each has her own mind-set, own aspirations, own beliefs and own set of priorities. If I have my eyes set on my dreams and career, it’s good for me; if a girl just wants to get married and settle down, that doesn’t make her any less. If being a housewife gives her pleasure then who am I to tell her that she is ruining her life. Or who am I to judge anyone based on her goals and expectations from life.
    Bottom line is to know oneself, set one’s priorities and stay happy. 🙂

    1. You got the point bang on! ????????
      Women face so much of prejudice, sadly more from other women than men. If I’m educated I have to use it by earning a living, or if I’m a homemaker I’m taken as a free bird sitting and spending my husband’s money. It doesn’t occur to them that either of these can be my choice or not.
      As long as I’m comfortable with myself and my space, why should I care about them? Also, so-called motivational thoughts such as the ones in the post can be prejudiced too. So, it boils down only on individual preferences.

  4. Good morning, Varsha. How have you been?
    A super post to read and get a motivated first thing in the morning.
    I am in absolute agreement with you.
    I have often heard ‘an opportunity missed is an opportunity wasted’. True but what if that opportunity is one that puts your priorities at stake. I have often missed and wasted many opportunities simply because I did not want anything on my plate that will affect the ‘quality’ of my life. ‘Quality’ is nothing to do with ‘monitory values’ but directly linked to my happiness and my happiness is my family. Every time I look back, it is the most beautiful opportunities with my family and the little beauties of life that I have not missed that I often see.
    Your insights have been wonderfully expressed, Varsha!
    Season’s greetings to you and your lovely family!

    1. Good morning, Perfy!
      There’s a simply rule in life. You win some, you lose some. What we win or what we lose should be our call right? We chose to lose career opportunities, but won the happiness of keeping the warmth and love in our family alive over the years. It is a misconception that women who don’t drop everything and report to work everyday aren’t doing anything significant.
      If there have to be any regrets, I would prefer the ones that I chose, not the ones others force upon me. I’m a family-oriented person at heart and would love to be known as one.
      I’m so happy you liked it. You are amongst the few people who I assume identify with my feelings and my stand. Hugs, dear!
      Season’s greetings to you and your awesome family too. Have a great new year.

        1. Same here, Perfy! It is so good to know that someone is in the same shoes as us and understands our situation without explaining it. I can’t mince words. I just say/write what I feel. I’m sure you are the same.
          Cheers, Perfy! ????????

        1. Wow! I’m pleased as punch right now. ????
          There are so many times when I felt like updating that bio or the Aham page, but then I cannot think of anything better. It is just what I am and there hasn’t been any change in me in all these years. This is a good thing, I suppose.
          Nope, no diabetic sweetness or frills with you or me. Thank God for that!

  5. Trust me, it is that bit of you that got me reading your posts when I accidently stumbled onto your blog. Frills and ‘oozing sweetness’ pleasing words are never my style too. If you want to read about myself please read my blog at:
    My Personal Diary

  6. It’s great to have everything planned but I was doing something before babies and I’m doing something else (what I loved doing as a hobby) after babies… Hahaha crazy life!

  7. Your old posts are beautiful and inspiring ones Varsha. A decade ago I quit my corporate life adopted to do something out of my comfort zone and surviving that works well for me. In the end our contentment in life matters.

  8. Totally agree with the post, if we miss one step, can’t start again. Education, career, love and marriage all four are the essential pillar of life. Each has its own beauty and importance.

  9. Very well written post.Life not always goes as planned but we do need to prepare for surprises.Loved reading it.

    (Snehalata Jain)

  10. I too believe in living life as it comes. No matter how many plans we make, at times they don’t work for us. The wise thing then is to change the plan & subsequent actions as well.

  11. Completely agree with you Varsha. it happens with most of us, with multiple responsibilities we forget to enjoy the sweet tiny moments of life and togetherness. and always aim for perfection in different aspects of life. instead we should try to be grateful for blessings of god and learn to be in moment.

  12. Ah another awesome old post from you. I have always followed the saying Enjoy life the way it comes. Our life may not run according yo our wish or plans but we just have to move on.

  13. Can’t agree with you more on this, Varsha. I left a high paying corporate job almost a decade back and many eyebrows were raised. Truly, women are judged more than men. At times it’s destiny or various situations in life that demands your sacrifice which the world never understands. But every choice is yours and you should be happy with it.

  14. Life has its own twists and turns to surprise us with. There is no set rule on how one should live their life. Take the life as it comes, set your own priorities and be happy with your life choices 🙂 Loved reading the post.

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