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A Punching Bag

Love, whether it is the kind between a husband and wife, boy and girl, parents and their children, friends, or neighbours, etc. can be one of the most liberating emotions in the universe. It has the power to enlighten the darkest of hearts with the flick of a tiny flame of affection and warm the coldest of hearts with the comforting feeling that they are being cared for.

Loving someone and being loved back by them, in same measure, is unarguably the most precious feelings of all. Who wouldn’t want to be the special someone to their special someone? Their eyes weaving millions of dreams, their loving heart, the soothing warmth of their arms, is all for you. Beautiful and surreal, isn’t it?

Is love all about walking on stars, promising to stick together till the end of the world, looking out for each other, dedicating yourself completely to the relationship or singing romantic songs for each other though? One thing we generally tend to overlook is the fact that when we expose our vulnerability to someone we’re as much prone to hurt as we are to love.


Knowing that you’re committed to them can easily turn people into the mean creatures they never were. If their success can be credited to you, so can their failure, if at all. Being integral to someone’s life also means carrying their baggage along with yours. You might do it willingly out of love, but it needs to be recognised and appreciated too, right?

I don’t think I’m selfish, but I feel I deserve respect for what I do for anyone. I don’t mind being someone’s punching bag, but certainly not the one that’s locked in a dark room and visited only to vent out. We all have good and bad days. Love can survive only when we call on each other during both.

I’m a romantic, although not the mushy red-roses-and-candle-light-dinner type. I guard the ones I love fiercely and would take anyone head-on for their sake. It isn’t wrong to expect a small fraction of it in return, is it? Sometimes I wonder if I’m being naïve and unpardonably touchy.

Care to share your thoughts on this?

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  1. love is the most misunderstood word (feeling) in the world….. people start expecting something in return in love….. which should not be the case…… and more important brain should always be active when in love…… if left everything to heart….. pain will be immense….. love everything that is good…. enjoy the life as it comes…. keep laughing…..

  2. What you’re saying would be the ideal situation or behaviour…and the problem is neither we nor the world is perfect. Selfless love sounds divine and beautiful, but how long can it last in that state? Some day or the other the need to be heeded will arise. What then?
    Heart and brain…oh my dear God…if only they could learn to function together! ????

  3. With time.. we start taking our loved ones for granted… Even when we might not be aware of it

    1. True, and that’s where the rift begins. It is good to love but one needs to make sure respect and concern never leave the relation.

    2. and the love and care need to happen naturally.. then only the relationship can be sustained..

      1. True. The same feeling on both sides can only lead to a fruitful mutual relationship.

  4. No its not being selfish to expect a return.. but if we expect and force them to do something n return that is wrong..

    As you say love is far wider..
    Love is defintely not walking in stars I am yet to find a couple who walk on stars .. The problem with love is we have seen too many bollywood films.. that is reeeel. . Doesn’t happen in real.

    And love has many experiences tooo good bad ugly..

    What makes me mad and angry is people saying oh I loved that person so much and now I don’t. . HOW can that be.. if u love someone how can love go away.. OR IS IT ME AGAIN????????????

    1. Good, you agree with me that expecting a bit isn’t wrong. Forcing is, I agree with that.
      I have seen women ruin their married lives because their husbands weren’t forthcoming in living and sharing the dreamy bookish/movielike life. Isn’t it better to understand the person atleast first?
      Love can never go away. You are right there. Can I add something here? I think it is possible to not desire the person in the same way as before, may be in terms of physical presence or emotional availability. People who say they don’t anymore are more or less living in denial.

  5. People who take you for granted don’t deserve to be in your life. Give them one chance, talk to them and move on. Easier that way. Love does not flourish on sacrifices and expectations alone.

    1. Love needs a lot of work, and many people don’t accept that. Hold it too close and it suffocates you, let it go away and it will make you feel ignored. It is like walking on a rope, but fun. It is important that people are on the same page. Communication should be clear and feelings must never be left unsaid. Yes, one should be prepared to move on, if need be.

  6. Lovely..sad..wonderful all at once 🙂
    It’s true that we’ll always expect a little atleast from the ones we love and serve.
    Nobody can do the selfless love in reality without getting hurt and feeling the pain.
    Stay strong. Keep smiling 🙂

    1. Right. We cannot go all out. We are human beings and we don’t come with a manual. There are some things that we need to figure out about ourselves on our own. One of them is, which many people won’t agree with, it is alright to be selfish. Unless you are a saint, selfless love doesn’t work. Enjoy the feeling and be happy. 🙂

      1. Very true 😀
        You summed up everything I feel in a few lines.
        It’s really all right to put ourselves first in our priority list 🙂

        1. As it is said, we cannot love anyone else if we cannot love ourselves first. Thanks Kavita. ????

          1. Correct! Love yourself and live happily 🙂

          2. Yes! ☺

  7. Hello Varsha Di,
    I think I should take this post very seriously… coz i have friends who, you know, got hurt because of these relationships and all…
    But, if they really love her or him, you should be happy to see them as they are, not bounded with a tag being your girlfriends or boyfriend…
    And why to give someone a power to hurt you…
    Its like friendship set on fire whenever something happens like this… but I think, if you really care about someone, you should be happy in their happiness….

    1. The age you are in Harsh, even a small crush can escalate into a huge issue..with or without intervention by your friends. It is alright if you like someone, one can never undermine the curiosity and popularity factor amongst teenagers.
      You are too young to identify love yet. An infatuation might seem just the same now. Any which way, it is VERY essential that you not let it, good or bad, to affect your studies or career pursuits. Friendships can stay on for life, love doesn’t every time. You are right. We should be happy in that special someone’s happiness. ????
      I gave too much of gyaan here it seems. ????????

      1. You are so right Di…
        These bollywood movies have nade our minds go round.
        Yeah, you are absolutely right, even a crush may seem like a LIFE PARTNER, hhaahha….
        But all these things make me go mad, like scratching your hand and using a knife to hurt you… (yeah, Ive seen myself such people, and those of my age)
        For me, right now my main priority should be studies, right? And that’s why I be silent in my class and dont mix up with classmafes much and they think I am mute, you know thappa of introvert…. but i am happy!
        I thunk I commented on a wrong topic… hahahahahaha

        1. Masochism at any age is a crime. It means you have no value for the one life you got after God knows how many lives. At your age it seems rather clumsy..oh yes..Shahrukh did it…etc. Nonsense it all is. ????
          Yes, it is good to prioritise studies now. I still have an introvert ka thappa…can you believe it? I never spoke in class…and even in a group of friends I was the silent one. It is alright. I believe quiet people observe and think more. We probably write to jot down our unspoken words. You think so? ????
          Kuch bhi bolo yaar…topic chalta hai. Who will stop us?? ????

  8. Yeah, they don’t think about those whi really care for them, like their family… because even if we say that it is our life, but its actually not… so many have expectations from us….
    I am not that introvert, but I stay silent in most of the cases and sometimes, I am the one who irritates all students because every time my hand was raised when asked questiins by teacher… haha, I am not bragging…
    Yes, i absolutely agree. We write to escape from reality fir a moment and take time to analyze and evaulae ourself, then it is like one to one convo where we talk to ourselves…
    Nobody will stop us, I hope… or bola bhi to moderator to aap ho, you know “real power” haha

    1. Oh god, there are so much typo mistake…

      1. ???????????? its ok…I’m not cutting marks yet. ????????????

        1. Alright, Now I’m on my pc. Won’t give you chance to cut my marks…

          1. ???????????????????? Ok baccha. Khush ho jao.

          2. Hello Di, sorry for disturbing again…
            I just wanted to inform you that I posted blue watery eyes #3, would you like to read it? ????

          3. Hey Harsh…just saw your comment. Ye to tubelight bhi dead wali ho gayi yaar. ????????
            Let me check. ☺

          4. Thanks Di…
            ???? Btw, how is Angel and A Junior?

          5. Don’t ask yaar. They are driving me nuts today. Fighting incessantly. Then A’s phone rang and Angel simply started dancing. ???? That’s when this post came up. ????

          6. haha, so sweet.

          7. ????????????

    2. You see…talking just coz you have to and effective talking are two different things. You belong to the second category, so good. ????
      We and our family always come first. They are the ones we owe everything. Baaki sab to aata jaata rahega.
      See, some posts I write are abstract…some are my experiences…happy and sad both. Instead of waiting to speak it out to someone who has time, it is easier to jot down and ponder upon it.
      Bola to bola…like you said…I call tje power ???????? and anyways it doesn’t matter who says what.

      1. 🙂
        You are so right Di, Family is the one we owe everything…
        I write because I love making worlds, M apni stories me aise characters banata hoon jinhe m khud apni life me milna chahta hu… Even though, they are part of my thought process, but whenever I write stroies, vo characters apne aap hi kuch aisa krte h jo bohot inspiring hota h… and I try to make them non-perfect because tabhi vo real banenge… And sometimes, the worst part of writing such stories, you fall in love with people who don’t really exist… Oh god!
        hahaha, Btw, very few have this quality to be unbothered by what others say. and I REALLY WANT THIS IN ME!

        1. I didn’t write fiction before, but I love it too. Creating something that cania entirely my imagination…right from the characters to the twists and turns is a lot of fun. I don’t think I’m attached to my characters though. Also, I have little patience to carry on a story for long, like you. ????
          You will learn not bothering…when you go to college and people come up with imaginary stories of your getaways during college time…you will welcome it. ????????????

  9. Agree with you completely! Love should liberate, not bind you. Nobody deserves to be taken for granted.

    1. You are so right Deboshree! ????

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