As we braced ourselves to survive through the challenges of a never-heard-before lockdown, we didn’t anticipate the collateral adjustments that would come with it. Work, school and other responsibilities keep family members away from their homes for long hours through the day. Suddenly, now this eclectic mix is homebound together, has additional pressures and what more, doesn’t know how to deal with this forced invasion of privacy. Relationship wellness, hence, has become more important and trickier than ever before.
There have been numerous jokes and memes comparing relationships with everything from a walk in Jurassic Park to an unexciting garage sale. They’ve gotten even funnier during the lockdown. However, we cannot laugh away life and our loved ones with such ease. Sharing few tips that will help work on your relationship wellness now and later on too.
Keep realistic expectations
Having a picture perfect home is every woman’s dream. Some achieve it too, though admittedly I’m not one of them. For the first couple of months of the lockdown there were no maids while the kitchen ran like its feeding an army. The scorching summer heat didn’t kill the virus but this exhaustion certainly made us feel like walking dead. It makes sense then to relax some stringent rules for your own sake. You may have helping hands but they might be just as tired as you, right? Don’t expect too much and feel your stress levels come down.
Your attitude matters
During dire circumstances it is always the elders we look up to for support and guidance. I haven’t called my Dad as frequently as I’ve done in the last 4 months and every time his voice reminds me that ‘this too shall pass’. When things can’t get any worse, it is time for them to get better. I being able to write this and you being able to read is proof that we’re amongst the privileged ones. Relationship wellness is easy when everyone pitches in. Light a diya, burn incense every evening and chant shlokas and mantras together everyday. Whatever works for you is good.
Enjoy doing nothing too
If you haven’t learnt any new hobby, written a book, grew your own veggies or even video called your entire family during the lockdown, IT IS OK! We all have different coping mechanisms. Don’t push yourself to bake a cake just because everyone else is. Taking pleasure in enjoying nothingness is no less than an art. Enjoy some quiet time over a cup of tea or watch the rains with Rafi songs playing in the background. Doesn’t this doing nothing sound good?
Don’t forget your ‘me’ time
Give any relationship your best but for relationship wellness you can’t compromise on your own time. You possibly might not get a chance to spend time freely with yourself like before but do try to squeeze whatever much you can. Read, go for walks, workout, write or take long naps. You deserve everything that lets you feel peaceful in your own company. Don’t shy away from asking your family to give you some well-deserved space.
Communicate, physically too!
Treat this lockdown as an excuse to make your bond stronger and rekindle your relationship. Working couples who didn’t spend more than a couple of hours every morning and evening are now together all day. You can either let tempers fly or divide chores and finish your individual work. Intimacy can be felt in togetherness too. Kids are the hardest hit so make sure that you indulge them with love and care. Read them bedtime stories, watch cartoons and connect them to their cousins through chats and calls. We’re a hugging and kissing family and love to express ourselves physically. Try it if you haven’t, it really works.
This was my sixth post in the Health and Wellness series with #CauseAChatter. Please do share your thoughts about it with me.