Have you ever struggled with your pen or stared at a blank screen when the ideas in your mind just won’t let you rest? There’s so much to say but no word comes out right and no expression seems genuine. Every poem inside you remains unwritten and unsaid. I have, and trust me it’s the worst thing to happen to a writer. Shouldn’t one delve into the long untouched parts of his/her heart and mind to look for inspiration within then?
I always loved writing although the realisation came quite late. The first ever entry in my personal diary back in college was a romantic poem. I had hastily scribbled it at the back of my note book and casually shared it with my friends. Somehow they loved it so much that they insisted that I write it down properly for posterity. That was the humble beginning of the love story between my pen and paper.
Every poem, and there were many, I wrote after it was a priceless creation for me. While I spent my days in the workshop and gave finishing touches to extremely complicated mechanical designs, my heart sneaked away into a different world of its own. Everything I wrote back then made sense, from waiting for my special someone to even the aching ones that longed for it. Poetry made me feel both happy and sad.
Creativity isn’t limited to any medium hence the movies I saw or songs I heard had an interesting influence on my thinking too. Have you seen Kabhi Kabhi? This beautiful movie has amazing actors like Shashi Kapoor, Amitabh Bachchan, Rakhi and my absolute favourite, Rishi Kapoor. It also has some of the most memorable songs of all time. The one line from the film that made a lasting impression on me though was, “Aap shayar hain, duniya ko humse zyada samajhte hain”.
Whether it is prose or poetry, the art of weaving words together is no mean feat. As someone who could make sense with a line or two, this made me feel special. I ambitiously self-promoted myself from hobby-writer to an artist and my heart soared like never before. However, with the receding frequency of writing and almost no poem since last many months, I’m inclined to question my abilities now. Did I understand the world and my feelings better earlier?
I let my heart wander and guide my mind for a bit after which they came up with this small poem today. It has no beginning or end, just a story that needs to be unfolded. Do tell me if it reached you.
The conversations in our silences,
The painful yearning of our absences,
The knowing of happily ever after,
The fear of leaving it to chances.
Will we have a different tomorrow?
Will we have time we didn’t borrow?
Will our two lives ever be one, or
Will we forever give in to this sorrow?