Few days ago I happened to browse through some of my old mails. This was a personal id I had created and whatever I wanted to say or vent out, I mailed it from my id to this one. Apparently(and thankfully), I hadn’t discovered a simpler way of doing it yet: blogging.
I agree I had a serious writing affinity back then also, but there were few things I found out that were unsettling, even disturbing. It was indeed my way of venting out and today the same things aren’t as important to me as they were back then. Yet, I’m inclined to ask myself, “Do sad and depressing memories need to be revisited?”.
For example, there were many mails where I expressed my difficulty in coping with both my job and pregnancy and how utterly dejected I was with no help around. In some, I talked incessantly about my anger for a specific person who was making my life miserable. Some had work related frustrations while some had family issues.
If you’ve noticed, none of them were happy mails. Probably because happy people don’t just sit and jibber jabber. They have better ways to live and enjoy. Happiness is contagious and lets you break away. Sadness, on the other hand pulls you further down the ditch. May be that’s the reason why I couldn’t go beyond a few mails.
Which brings me to the same question, again. When we’ve gone through a certain unhappy phase, is it a good idea to go through it over and over again by noting it down? This isn’t some joke that can make us smile every time we hear it. The effect is in fact, quite the opposite.
I might’ve written all of them very painstakingly, but within moments and with a few mouse clicks I erased them from my memory (and inbox) forever. Had I blogged about them, I’m not sure if I could delete such a huge chunk of posts so easily. We all love our stats, don’t we?
Old habits die hard, and I started venting out on my blog too for some time. Soon, however I realised that our problems have few takers. No one likes a cry baby, right! By writing and feeling positive we can bring about a vast change in our thought process and make our lives better.
This blog is like a diary for me, but only for memories that I’d like to hold on to and treasure my whole life. Like, the childhood of my kids, my bitter-sweet experiences with A, my writing, my reading, my friends etc. It is endearing and I look forward to it.