I’ve always felt that love and romance is an exaggerated and baffled concept. Exaggerated by people who seek to earn some revenue out of it, and baffled by people like us who fall into the trap. How significant it is in our lives and how imperative it is for a relationship is for an individual to understand and decide.
All of us have countless dreams from our teenage (which are highly fueled by some whirlwind romance from Mills & Boons, some highly melodramatic romantic movie where the hero woos his darling with this ardent love for her, and sometimes even by some love story of a friend or a classmate that we’ve had a firsthand account of) and expect that someday our knight in shining armour would come and take us to his paradise of undiluted and undying love.
If the reality is a stark contrast to this, we end up sulking and lamenting. There have been many instances when I’ve heard some or the other person, especially a girl, crib about how unromantic her other half is. He doesn’t bring her flowers, doesn’t take her for candle-light dinners, doesn’t sing romantic songs for her, and on and on. As if they are a proof that he doesn’t love her. Sigh! 🙁
I know all these things sound very mushy and indeed would make any girl go weak in her knees, but are these things really all that important? And if they are and he doesn’t do it, does she take the pain of letting him know that she’d like him to do all of them for her? I guess not! I’m not trying to advocate the opposite sex here, but making a relevant point. If the other one doesn’t know what you want, there’s nothing wrong in letting him know that. After all it’s you who’s going to reap the benefits of it, right? 😀
We try to find love in cards, gifts and physical things, when it can be felt and conveyed best through the simplest things…eyes…a smile…small gestures like selecting each other’s clothes for a party…so on and so forth. If one tries to compare these things with some expensive piece of diamond jewellery, then it is wrong and unfair. One gets bored with these things very easily, but emotional bonding is what stays with you forever.
The best example for unfrilled love can be our parents. We’ve probably never seen them expressing their feelings for each other freely, but it is palpable. They can read each other’s minds and almost always predict flawlessly as to what the other one is up to. They have such a strong bond that they can silently convey their feelings to each other, by just a look or a gesture. This, I feel, is romance at its best, isn’t it?
I am so with you!!! The whole 'romance' thing is just commercialisation and most people have been socialised to believe that it's the only way you know someone loves you. And it's crap. For me, love would be my partner sharing the household chores and helping with the dishes or a random peck on the cheek or a surprise kiss. Who needs cards and flowers? I have seen so many friends get disappointed because their boyfriends were not "romantic enough". I never read Mills and Boons (because I read one and that made me nauseous) and I don't like romantic movies…wonder if that has to do with this all! =P
Nice post,,, i truly agree with ur example…..
Exactly right!
So with you, varsh… 😀 dont knw what else to say!
not my cuppa tea, but I enjoyed reading it! Atlest I am 'aware' now! 🙂
@PB: Exactly…there are so many small things that matter a lot more than these kind of displays of love. Know what, even I've just read one Mills & Boons, after that I could never touch another one! Completely with you on this 🙂
@rohini: Thanks ro…mala doosra example suchlach nahi…haach proper watla 🙂
@Raghu: Thanks Raghu 🙂
@Titaxy: Glad you agree with it T 🙂
@Addy: Hehe…being 'aware' will surely help you.. but mind you… not many girls agree with me!! 😉
Hey Varsh….nice one. I always tell my love, i am no GOD….help me make u feel better if at all u know what it can be…and i guess it applies equally to both the genders. I strongly agree when u say to ask for it…communication is important. But i feel, even the older GEN stands as faulty as ours, when it comes to the ones that failed…the relationships. I have ample in front of my eyes to say that. A look or a card/gift, whatever be it, needs to be conveyed if not understood. It shouldn't be two trying to make it one but one having the two. 🙂
If you really love sum1…the need to express ur love comes instinctively…parents reading the mind of each other can be an example of great understanding that has developed over the years…. I can just say love is sumthn else..!
@Garf: People expect others to understand what they feel or want…is it so bad to let them know that yourself? Ofcourse not! And I do that…I let A know when I'd like him to do a certain thing for me. And yes, if indirect communication does not work, it is as proper to expect and resort to more direct means. Age no bar. 🙂
@Broken Star: True…the instinct to express yourself comes on its own…the problem arises when one's instincts are not completely enough for the other one..may be he/she wants more…Love is a mix of understanding, compassion, regard and respect for each other…and I believe its not only the years that count..we can achieve the same even with someone we hardly know.Welcome here! 🙂
Touching!Here, I thought this is a good time to share this with you (kinda mirroring your thoughts here):http://imsri.blogspot.com/2005/06/love-all.htmlI'll be back! (Terminator ishtyle)…keep it up!
@phatichar: I wonder what made you choose such a name…that post was beautiful! Loved it :)Welcome here…and do come back (in whichever style you please)! 😀
Well said Varsh! And if a man does nt take her out for a candle light dinner, she cn always surprise him by arranging one @ home 😉 That sounds romantic to me actually, instead of whining or complaining 😉
Hw r u finding Deaf Heaven Varsh?
@Swaram: How true…its not like guys have the whole responsibility of keeping us happy na… we can surprise them too… home delivered food.. some nice movie…with lots of popcorn and cuddling….just as simple…but sweet na?? 😉
@Swaram: I can't say I liked it…honestly…the language is too 'vulgar' for my taste…and the narration is does not keep you involved..won't recommend it for sure…the new one…True Dummy…I'm enjoying it 🙂
That was a sweet post Varsh. I agree with the emotional bonding bit. Never understood when people asked me what I got for my birthday and so on. A hug would be gift enough for me, for sure! And yes, we should take a leaf out of the seniors' generation. (Hey, I'm not THAT old yet, so don't look at me!)The last time I tried to post a comment, I was unable to. 🙁 Methought I was blocked! 🙁 I hope I can do it this time.
@zephyr: I seriously believe that people overdo these things..not that I don't like them…but handing out something to someone just for the sake of it is not expected na…I'd never took at you as the senior generation 😉 You're so full of life that we've to take cues from you :)I'd never dream of blocking you…Might be some temporary glitch..got through this time 🙂
Oh ok 🙂 I might nt like it too 😛
OK am late..but that does not stop be from agreeing with you.. With you on this 100%
@Swaram: Guess not :PBut I do feel that you'll like True Dummy by Ashish Jaiswal…do read it! 🙂
@Comfy: Der hui aane mein tumko shukr hai phir bhi aaye to (tell tell which song :P)! :)I was sure you'd agree with me Comfy…your posts carry the most simplest things conveyed in the most amazing words…you know what I mean 🙂